Well. It finally happened.
I miss working out.
So, here's an update since my last real post 13 days ago. Last Tuesday, my former boss asked me if I wanted to deploy for CAT assistance (more on what this means) the next day. Since I had already volunteered to be on the "go" list, I said yes. The day before, I had completed two work-outs and had aggravated a weird strain in what my grandma used to call your "giddy-up" -- this is the tendon area between your groin and thigh. I decided to skip my Tuesday morning workout because I was still sore and I figured I would just go after work. WRONG! After work, I was then relegated to running around packing and trying to decide what to bring for an indefinite period of time for CAT duty.
CAT duty means catastrophe duty. When something catastrophic happens (like the tornadoes that have hit so many parts of the country), insurance companies deploy adjusters to assist in adjusting claims. It's a very stressful time because you don't know the area, you don't know the situation and you are meeting people after they have been through some of the worst disasters that have ever happened to them. You're on the road a lot and when you're not, you're in your hotel room working on estimates and calling customers.
Needless to say, it is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Especially if your hotel does not have a gym.
Which mine does not. Now, people who are truly dedicated to the lifestyle would have found a way. But, I'm just not a big go outside and find a path to walk/run in an unfamiliar area. On a side of town that I'm not convinced is the "good" side. Off of a main 50 mph road. So, no -- I'm not that dedicated. I did recently decide that I could just walk/run circles around the hotel, because how is that different than doing it around a track? But, I just figured that out today and I just didn't get very far in that process.
So, I miss working out. A lot. So much so that I came up with the crazy idea that the goal I really want to work towards is being able to do a triathlon. I told Scott this and he mocked me -- because I can't even swim. That's why it's a goal you work towards -- like a Masters degree. It takes time to get to, but if I can work towards being able to accomplish it then imagine what good shape I'd be in.
Anyways, as much as I dreaded the gym for various reasons -- I miss the tedium of the elliptical and the dreadmill. They gave me confidence in myself and confidence that I was working towards a healthier lifestyle. I'm trying to be good here, but it's impossible at night when we get together because it's drinking friendly.
The CAT is excellent experience for me and the direction that I want my career to go, but I hope I can get back home to my routine and my cardio soon!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Bonus Pack: Three mini-blogs for the price of one
The Scale Photo
Obviously there are not a lot of people who are willing to post their scale on the WWW, much less if it is over 200 pounds. But, for those people it is perhaps because they are going in the wrong direction or they didn't start a blog dedicated to their fat (or the losing there-of). And in either case, good for them! Me, I was pretty f*ing happy to see that number on the scale this past week. I first realized it was heading in that direction when I had a 213 weigh in the day before, but I was getting flukey weigh-ins under the 215 I had been stuck at and didn't want to believe it. Then it dropped again! My first week on WW showed a loss of 6 pounds. A very exciting change! Non-scale victories (NSV) are great and all, but who are we trying to kid? Actually, some day I really need to blog about the little song I sing in my head. There's this old song by Johnny Cash called I've Been Everywhere (you've probably heard it, it was even in a commercial once). I have a song I sing in my head to this tune that goes "I've Been Every Weight." Actually, that would be the whole blog, so I guess I don't need to write it now...
Anways, I don't know if it was just time for the weight to start moving, if it was the first week of WW or the thermogenic but it was nice to see some change.
You're taking WHAT?
Yeah, I started taking a thermogenic. It's something they encourage you to do as part of the Body Challenge, but I'm pretty against that stuff in general. In fact, more than a few people approached me after reading my plateau related laments and mentioned cleanses or cleansing diets or something else of the sort. If you are reading this as one of those people, I want to say that I really appreciate the sentiment behind the offer and the reason that I didn't respond was because of the above statement. I really only want to do things that I can sustain long term. Any kind of cut this, cut that, drink this, et cetera thing does not appeal to me. The reason why I am such a fan of WW is because it really works and really helps me figure out a way to eat that works for me. Consistently. It gives me a road map to follow to eat in the real world. And yet, here I am taking a thermogenic. Without even really researching it or anything. I feel like a hypocrite, but it's hard to feel so much like a hypocrite that I want to stop taking it! My current plan is to keep taking it until I hit the Onederland and then go it au naturel for a while to see if it really does make that much of a difference.
It definitely makes a difference in how much I pee, I can tell you THAT much! I mean, sure, I'm drinking close to 100 ounces of a water -- or more -- a day, but I have been doing that for a while and I wasn't peeing twice an hour! Yikes!!
ATTENTION: SHOPPERS
So, other news. The shopping expedition. That did not go as well as planned, but oddly it was not the soul sucking depressing event that it normally is either. I am now pretty firmly between sizes, and it depends on the store which sizes I'm between. I bought two dresses in a store I hadn't been able to fit in anything for a while, so that was a plus -- even if it was their biggest size, who cares? And I had to go on size run a few times because the size I brought back to the dressing room was too big -- but the size down was still a bit too small. I also did some shopping in my own drawers and have been able to fit into two pairs of pants that I haven't worn in a while -- that's a bonus! My size 16 jeans that I have been so excited about getting back into now get loose the day of the first wear after wash instead of the next time around. Still can't get into the 14's (I know, I tried on Saturday), but I can get them on which is a HUGE step.
Let's Get Physical
Unfortunately, exercise news is not as exciting this week. I am under siege by allergy creeping crud and just did not want to go this morning or after work. Maybe if I go sweat it out I can release some of the pollen demons, but it is hard to convince myself of that when it feels like someone ran a rake down my throat. And I just keep running into these bouts of lame work-outs. Do you know the kind I mean? I get up and get going on the dreadmill and then can't finish and have to switch machines. At least I'm getting cramps in different parts of my legs, this is some sort of progress right?? And I have worked up to being able to do level 4 on the elliptical, which makes me feel like a Rock Star since Scott can't even do the elliptical. (I know, it's rude to mention but he can RUN which is way harder than the elliptical, IMHO). But, there's only so much ellipticalling you can do without getting bored. Which is usually the thing that brings me back to my nemesis the dreadmill (I WILL conquer you!). It's funny, because I climb on and make all of these vague promises to myself about what I'm going to do. "Okay, Heather you are NOT going to try to run at the 5 minute mark, you are going to wait until the 10 minute mark because you've been trying to go too soon..." Or I say I'm only going to go 30 seconds instead of a minute or I won't run at all or I'll do incline intervals. I do not stick to any of it -- I just get so bored. I mean, the elliptical isn't super-exciting either, but I don't get bored. I think it's because I do a program on the elliptical and then do my own intervals within that program. Like I'll do the fat burner program but then every few minutes I'll push my RPE (warning: this link takes you to a ton of information about target heart rate and rate of perceived exertion) to 10 for the duration of whatever cycle I'm in. My RPE at 10 puts me between 120 and 130 strides, depending on where I'm at with my workout mojo, whereas when I'm at average work-out (RPE of about 6 or 7), I'm at 106-113.
Exciting stuff, right? I found something even more boring than the dreadmill! Listening to myself whine about it! Ugh!
Anyways, I will try to post more regularly so it's not always 3 blogs in one, but don't hold your breath.
Seriously, don't -- that could add an extra ounce on the scale. :)
hugs,
Heather
Obviously there are not a lot of people who are willing to post their scale on the WWW, much less if it is over 200 pounds. But, for those people it is perhaps because they are going in the wrong direction or they didn't start a blog dedicated to their fat (or the losing there-of). And in either case, good for them! Me, I was pretty f*ing happy to see that number on the scale this past week. I first realized it was heading in that direction when I had a 213 weigh in the day before, but I was getting flukey weigh-ins under the 215 I had been stuck at and didn't want to believe it. Then it dropped again! My first week on WW showed a loss of 6 pounds. A very exciting change! Non-scale victories (NSV) are great and all, but who are we trying to kid? Actually, some day I really need to blog about the little song I sing in my head. There's this old song by Johnny Cash called I've Been Everywhere (you've probably heard it, it was even in a commercial once). I have a song I sing in my head to this tune that goes "I've Been Every Weight." Actually, that would be the whole blog, so I guess I don't need to write it now...
Anways, I don't know if it was just time for the weight to start moving, if it was the first week of WW or the thermogenic but it was nice to see some change.
You're taking WHAT?
Yeah, I started taking a thermogenic. It's something they encourage you to do as part of the Body Challenge, but I'm pretty against that stuff in general. In fact, more than a few people approached me after reading my plateau related laments and mentioned cleanses or cleansing diets or something else of the sort. If you are reading this as one of those people, I want to say that I really appreciate the sentiment behind the offer and the reason that I didn't respond was because of the above statement. I really only want to do things that I can sustain long term. Any kind of cut this, cut that, drink this, et cetera thing does not appeal to me. The reason why I am such a fan of WW is because it really works and really helps me figure out a way to eat that works for me. Consistently. It gives me a road map to follow to eat in the real world. And yet, here I am taking a thermogenic. Without even really researching it or anything. I feel like a hypocrite, but it's hard to feel so much like a hypocrite that I want to stop taking it! My current plan is to keep taking it until I hit the Onederland and then go it au naturel for a while to see if it really does make that much of a difference.
It definitely makes a difference in how much I pee, I can tell you THAT much! I mean, sure, I'm drinking close to 100 ounces of a water -- or more -- a day, but I have been doing that for a while and I wasn't peeing twice an hour! Yikes!!
ATTENTION: SHOPPERS
So, other news. The shopping expedition. That did not go as well as planned, but oddly it was not the soul sucking depressing event that it normally is either. I am now pretty firmly between sizes, and it depends on the store which sizes I'm between. I bought two dresses in a store I hadn't been able to fit in anything for a while, so that was a plus -- even if it was their biggest size, who cares? And I had to go on size run a few times because the size I brought back to the dressing room was too big -- but the size down was still a bit too small. I also did some shopping in my own drawers and have been able to fit into two pairs of pants that I haven't worn in a while -- that's a bonus! My size 16 jeans that I have been so excited about getting back into now get loose the day of the first wear after wash instead of the next time around. Still can't get into the 14's (I know, I tried on Saturday), but I can get them on which is a HUGE step.
Let's Get Physical
Unfortunately, exercise news is not as exciting this week. I am under siege by allergy creeping crud and just did not want to go this morning or after work. Maybe if I go sweat it out I can release some of the pollen demons, but it is hard to convince myself of that when it feels like someone ran a rake down my throat. And I just keep running into these bouts of lame work-outs. Do you know the kind I mean? I get up and get going on the dreadmill and then can't finish and have to switch machines. At least I'm getting cramps in different parts of my legs, this is some sort of progress right?? And I have worked up to being able to do level 4 on the elliptical, which makes me feel like a Rock Star since Scott can't even do the elliptical. (I know, it's rude to mention but he can RUN which is way harder than the elliptical, IMHO). But, there's only so much ellipticalling you can do without getting bored. Which is usually the thing that brings me back to my nemesis the dreadmill (I WILL conquer you!). It's funny, because I climb on and make all of these vague promises to myself about what I'm going to do. "Okay, Heather you are NOT going to try to run at the 5 minute mark, you are going to wait until the 10 minute mark because you've been trying to go too soon..." Or I say I'm only going to go 30 seconds instead of a minute or I won't run at all or I'll do incline intervals. I do not stick to any of it -- I just get so bored. I mean, the elliptical isn't super-exciting either, but I don't get bored. I think it's because I do a program on the elliptical and then do my own intervals within that program. Like I'll do the fat burner program but then every few minutes I'll push my RPE (warning: this link takes you to a ton of information about target heart rate and rate of perceived exertion) to 10 for the duration of whatever cycle I'm in. My RPE at 10 puts me between 120 and 130 strides, depending on where I'm at with my workout mojo, whereas when I'm at average work-out (RPE of about 6 or 7), I'm at 106-113.
Exciting stuff, right? I found something even more boring than the dreadmill! Listening to myself whine about it! Ugh!
Anyways, I will try to post more regularly so it's not always 3 blogs in one, but don't hold your breath.
Seriously, don't -- that could add an extra ounce on the scale. :)
hugs,
Heather
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Good, the bad and the Unfashionable
Well, Spring is springing. This is a season that gets most people excited about warm weather on the horizon and the chance to bust out their toes and revel in the freedom from turtlenecks.
Most people, but not fat people. Or not this fat person anyways. Maybe you are not affected by the change of seasons. Maybe it doesn't create the same level of heartburn in you that it does for me. If not, you may want to peruse other blogs and pop back in at the next entry...
Since 2004, when I first started caring about the extra weight that I carry, the change of seasons traditionally induces a sort of panic. What the heck am I gonna wear? Usually I am in some sort of weight adjustment, up or down and nothing in my wardrobe is appropriate. Too tight or too small or just too "what was I THINKING?!"
In fact, I have quite a lot of "what was I thinking" in my wardrobe. Things that I purchased just to get through a season, to fill in gaps. They are quickly too small, too big or just too blah for me to want to wear -- and yet I hold on to them. If I emptied my closet and drawers of all of the clothes I have purchased to try to survive another temperature change, I would probably have all kinds of additional storage space. That's not even addressing the containers shoved under my bed. (But this is perhaps fodder for another blog of the future -- Inside Heather's Disorganization.)
Shopping results in a lot of frustration, particularly when I am in a transitional phase either up or down. Nothing seems to fit right and Lord knows I am not going to find a tailor, much less pay them to alter a $30 pair of pants. And I'm not going to spend more on "good" pants when I know that this time I am going to get down to (name current desired size) once and for ALL. So, capris bring with them the humiliation of too tight in the thighs and too loose in the waist and the joy that is my cankles. Skirts must be flame retardant in order not to catch on fire from my thigh friction. Dresses are frequently sleeveless and my arms haven't been much to write home about. Not to mention the material that these adorable dresses are made of frequently are dead give-aways that I am a lady who does not glow but sweats, thank you VERY much! Tank tops? With these boobs? I think not. Even shoes are menacing. The adorable espadrilles that were so popular last year have those laces that go up your calf and just look like a giant neon sign that says "CANKLES ON BOARD".
I have a shopping event coming this weekend. While I look forward to spending time with my girlfriend, the time in the dressing room is looming over me like a dark cloud. But since I'm writing this in April wearing a turtleneck because of the lack of dressing options and the blessing of a cooler day (I'm not going to lie -- climate change is friendly to the clothing challenged) it is time to find some transitional options. I'm hoping to find some options that are both budget friendly and more representative of usefulness through the summer, but I'm guessing I'll leave with a maxi dress to wear to Sertoma and a renewed vow to get more serious about adding extra workouts to my week.
Happy Spring anyways!
hugs,
Heather
Most people, but not fat people. Or not this fat person anyways. Maybe you are not affected by the change of seasons. Maybe it doesn't create the same level of heartburn in you that it does for me. If not, you may want to peruse other blogs and pop back in at the next entry...
Since 2004, when I first started caring about the extra weight that I carry, the change of seasons traditionally induces a sort of panic. What the heck am I gonna wear? Usually I am in some sort of weight adjustment, up or down and nothing in my wardrobe is appropriate. Too tight or too small or just too "what was I THINKING?!"
In fact, I have quite a lot of "what was I thinking" in my wardrobe. Things that I purchased just to get through a season, to fill in gaps. They are quickly too small, too big or just too blah for me to want to wear -- and yet I hold on to them. If I emptied my closet and drawers of all of the clothes I have purchased to try to survive another temperature change, I would probably have all kinds of additional storage space. That's not even addressing the containers shoved under my bed. (But this is perhaps fodder for another blog of the future -- Inside Heather's Disorganization.)
Shopping results in a lot of frustration, particularly when I am in a transitional phase either up or down. Nothing seems to fit right and Lord knows I am not going to find a tailor, much less pay them to alter a $30 pair of pants. And I'm not going to spend more on "good" pants when I know that this time I am going to get down to (name current desired size) once and for ALL. So, capris bring with them the humiliation of too tight in the thighs and too loose in the waist and the joy that is my cankles. Skirts must be flame retardant in order not to catch on fire from my thigh friction. Dresses are frequently sleeveless and my arms haven't been much to write home about. Not to mention the material that these adorable dresses are made of frequently are dead give-aways that I am a lady who does not glow but sweats, thank you VERY much! Tank tops? With these boobs? I think not. Even shoes are menacing. The adorable espadrilles that were so popular last year have those laces that go up your calf and just look like a giant neon sign that says "CANKLES ON BOARD".
I have a shopping event coming this weekend. While I look forward to spending time with my girlfriend, the time in the dressing room is looming over me like a dark cloud. But since I'm writing this in April wearing a turtleneck because of the lack of dressing options and the blessing of a cooler day (I'm not going to lie -- climate change is friendly to the clothing challenged) it is time to find some transitional options. I'm hoping to find some options that are both budget friendly and more representative of usefulness through the summer, but I'm guessing I'll leave with a maxi dress to wear to Sertoma and a renewed vow to get more serious about adding extra workouts to my week.
Happy Spring anyways!
hugs,
Heather
Friday, April 1, 2011
Non Scale Victory
I just learned (or relearned, as I may have heard it and forgot it) this term from my friend Kiosk today. I have definitely been in need of this as a focus, as the scale continues to punish me.
I have stubbornly stayed in the 215 range for a while now. I'm a little up, a little down but my confidence is waning. When I first got into this range, I thought that it would be no problem to be in the onederland by my birthday (May 11 -- shop now, supplies are limited!) and now I am beginning to doubt the achievability of this goal. I really wonder if there is going to be any progress at all. It's really hard to stay motivated when you're working out and eating right and nothing is changing.
For a while now, I have been loosely focused on these NSV's without being cognizant that this is what I was doing. Things like dropping a jean size, finishing a 5k or now being able to do 30 minutes on the treadmill. It is a constant, constant struggle to remember that these goals were incredibly recent in coming around. I look at the date on the first time I hit 215 and it was March 11, which was about 3 weeks ago. In the meantime, I'm constantly trying to get in more exercise and I have to imagine that my previously perpetually lethargic body is like "wtf is she trying to do to us??"
SO. NSV's may be the only thing I have going for me for who knows how long. I can NOT and WILL NOT let the scale be the determining factor in moving forward with changing my life. If I stay at 215 for the rest of my life, but I can climb Mt. Everest -- isn't that the key thing here? Isn't THAT what I'm trying to accomplish?
Well, yes - but I would really like to be able to wear a bikini one day too...
So, I don't have any new NSV's to post for you today yet, but I will definitely start looking for these things to keep me going and keep going forward.
Also, yesterday I joined Weight Watchers again! Yay! I'm glad to be back at home with a plan I understand and the group support the provides more insight than "eat lots of chicken". (I love my trainers, I do -- but this plan was not going to cut it for me.)
I'll have more on my thoughts related to going back to my WW peeps and more -- later!
big hugs,
Heather
I have stubbornly stayed in the 215 range for a while now. I'm a little up, a little down but my confidence is waning. When I first got into this range, I thought that it would be no problem to be in the onederland by my birthday (May 11 -- shop now, supplies are limited!) and now I am beginning to doubt the achievability of this goal. I really wonder if there is going to be any progress at all. It's really hard to stay motivated when you're working out and eating right and nothing is changing.
For a while now, I have been loosely focused on these NSV's without being cognizant that this is what I was doing. Things like dropping a jean size, finishing a 5k or now being able to do 30 minutes on the treadmill. It is a constant, constant struggle to remember that these goals were incredibly recent in coming around. I look at the date on the first time I hit 215 and it was March 11, which was about 3 weeks ago. In the meantime, I'm constantly trying to get in more exercise and I have to imagine that my previously perpetually lethargic body is like "wtf is she trying to do to us??"
SO. NSV's may be the only thing I have going for me for who knows how long. I can NOT and WILL NOT let the scale be the determining factor in moving forward with changing my life. If I stay at 215 for the rest of my life, but I can climb Mt. Everest -- isn't that the key thing here? Isn't THAT what I'm trying to accomplish?
Well, yes - but I would really like to be able to wear a bikini one day too...
So, I don't have any new NSV's to post for you today yet, but I will definitely start looking for these things to keep me going and keep going forward.
Also, yesterday I joined Weight Watchers again! Yay! I'm glad to be back at home with a plan I understand and the group support the provides more insight than "eat lots of chicken". (I love my trainers, I do -- but this plan was not going to cut it for me.)
I'll have more on my thoughts related to going back to my WW peeps and more -- later!
big hugs,
Heather
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Bad Things
I mentioned in my last post that I had been to a birthday party and ate bad things, and teased that there would be a future post on this topic. Since I ate a chili hot dog for lunch, this seemed like a good time! :)
While I have been overweight for some time, I did not start doing anything to actively correct that until 2005 (see The History of this Fat if you'd like the full rundown). That was the first time I joined WW and paid attention to what I was eating. Since I started this blog (and my new life), I have been trying to monitor what I eat and make better choices. You know that I cheat frequently, since I have written about our "blow diet" Saturdays. You also know that there isn't much formality to how I monitor my diet, I'm more focused on being active. But, still -- I find myself saying things like I ate bad things. This is something that has always driven me crazy when I've known other people dieting. I remember an Oprah episode where she had some gourmet baker on who had made this amazing cake of some sort, and Oprah wouldn't even eat a bite because she had a dress she had to fit in for an event and didn't want to mess around. I mean, one bite? Walk 5 more minutes on the dreadmill, then.
Again, I get into the slippery slope. I knew that I was going to have a chili hot dog for lunch, so I did account for that in my calorie counting for the day. But, I also knew that today I'm planning on adding my second work-out and taking a Zumba class tonight. I knew that there was room for error. I do try to make much smarter decisions than I did in the past. But, when I do eat something that is NOT healthy, I really try not to quantify that as "bad." The food itself isn't "bad" that is a value I ascribed to it when I chose to eat it instead of a bowl of carrots. Really, I'm "bad", I'm making choices that are not best for me. I'm trying to balance this need to lose weight with the reality of the world we live in.
Actually, I watched The Biggest Loser last night for the first time in a while. I had been feeling kind of blue about my progress and was unsuccessful in even writing a blog post that encapsulated how I was feeling. I just wanted to watch a show where there were people who had further to go than me and see their progress. It's always been motivating in the past for me. And last night's episode proved to be a mixed bag of motivation. There was a team that was given the opportunity to work on their own to try to get back on the ranch. They had been working out for the last 13 weeks, or whatever, at home and doing their own thing. The mother/son pair had lost a combined total of 75 pounds. (One of them needed to beat 91 pounds in order to beat someone who had the highest percentage of total weight loss.) So, that was kind of amazing to see that one woman had been able to lose 45 pounds on her own in the amount of time that it's taken me to lose about 15. Amazing and depressing, actually. Then, there was another team that lost a challenge and had to go off the ranch for a week. They got a $1000 to use for food, gym memberships and luxuries. They chose to spend that allocation on some smart choices -- buying their own food, gym membership -- but then they made some not-so-wise choices like getting massages instead of having their personal trainer from the ranch come and help them. Needless to say, they lost almost no weight and one of them was sent home. And they had everything in their toolkit to go off on their own and be successful! They had been working out and eating right like it was a full time job and still failed when they had to do it on their own.
Now, you can call it schadenfreude if you want, but I took a lot of encouragement from that. Losing weight, getting healthy, changing your life is hard, hard, hard! If someone who has been doing it as a full time job can't do it when they lose their support net, then someone like me has an uphill battle to face going it virtually alone. Whose best current food plan has been to "eat lots of chicken." Yes, I have Scott -- thank GOD -- going with me, but there are still bumps in the road even if your partner is in with you.
Anyways, I veered off of the bad things topic that I started -- as I tend to do. The long and the short is that it's not the food that it's bad -- it's the choices that are bad. I can't keep making the decisions I made in the past, they're not going to help me get where I want to go. All I can do is keep looking to the future and don't be caught off guard by too much cake and wine and not enough chicken.
After all, if I keep working at it, eventually the number will follow the work.
I HOPE!
hugs,
Heather
While I have been overweight for some time, I did not start doing anything to actively correct that until 2005 (see The History of this Fat if you'd like the full rundown). That was the first time I joined WW and paid attention to what I was eating. Since I started this blog (and my new life), I have been trying to monitor what I eat and make better choices. You know that I cheat frequently, since I have written about our "blow diet" Saturdays. You also know that there isn't much formality to how I monitor my diet, I'm more focused on being active. But, still -- I find myself saying things like I ate bad things. This is something that has always driven me crazy when I've known other people dieting. I remember an Oprah episode where she had some gourmet baker on who had made this amazing cake of some sort, and Oprah wouldn't even eat a bite because she had a dress she had to fit in for an event and didn't want to mess around. I mean, one bite? Walk 5 more minutes on the dreadmill, then.
Again, I get into the slippery slope. I knew that I was going to have a chili hot dog for lunch, so I did account for that in my calorie counting for the day. But, I also knew that today I'm planning on adding my second work-out and taking a Zumba class tonight. I knew that there was room for error. I do try to make much smarter decisions than I did in the past. But, when I do eat something that is NOT healthy, I really try not to quantify that as "bad." The food itself isn't "bad" that is a value I ascribed to it when I chose to eat it instead of a bowl of carrots. Really, I'm "bad", I'm making choices that are not best for me. I'm trying to balance this need to lose weight with the reality of the world we live in.
Actually, I watched The Biggest Loser last night for the first time in a while. I had been feeling kind of blue about my progress and was unsuccessful in even writing a blog post that encapsulated how I was feeling. I just wanted to watch a show where there were people who had further to go than me and see their progress. It's always been motivating in the past for me. And last night's episode proved to be a mixed bag of motivation. There was a team that was given the opportunity to work on their own to try to get back on the ranch. They had been working out for the last 13 weeks, or whatever, at home and doing their own thing. The mother/son pair had lost a combined total of 75 pounds. (One of them needed to beat 91 pounds in order to beat someone who had the highest percentage of total weight loss.) So, that was kind of amazing to see that one woman had been able to lose 45 pounds on her own in the amount of time that it's taken me to lose about 15. Amazing and depressing, actually. Then, there was another team that lost a challenge and had to go off the ranch for a week. They got a $1000 to use for food, gym memberships and luxuries. They chose to spend that allocation on some smart choices -- buying their own food, gym membership -- but then they made some not-so-wise choices like getting massages instead of having their personal trainer from the ranch come and help them. Needless to say, they lost almost no weight and one of them was sent home. And they had everything in their toolkit to go off on their own and be successful! They had been working out and eating right like it was a full time job and still failed when they had to do it on their own.
Now, you can call it schadenfreude if you want, but I took a lot of encouragement from that. Losing weight, getting healthy, changing your life is hard, hard, hard! If someone who has been doing it as a full time job can't do it when they lose their support net, then someone like me has an uphill battle to face going it virtually alone. Whose best current food plan has been to "eat lots of chicken." Yes, I have Scott -- thank GOD -- going with me, but there are still bumps in the road even if your partner is in with you.
Anyways, I veered off of the bad things topic that I started -- as I tend to do. The long and the short is that it's not the food that it's bad -- it's the choices that are bad. I can't keep making the decisions I made in the past, they're not going to help me get where I want to go. All I can do is keep looking to the future and don't be caught off guard by too much cake and wine and not enough chicken.
After all, if I keep working at it, eventually the number will follow the work.
I HOPE!
hugs,
Heather
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)