Hello... and goodbye...
So often, your favorite blogs just gradually fizzle out. Kind of like what I've been doing. Fizzling, fizzling... I'm doing things, I'm not doing things.
Kind of like you, right?
The weather's getting warmer, you're getting out there and getting active and feeling more motivated, right? Me too! You're pulling out your summer clothes and kind of dreading trying them on because you're not positive they will still fit, right? Me too! You're making promises about all the change you're going to make and hey, it's summer so you're going to be able to keep them because it's so nice outside, right? Me too!
You know what we'll be doing in what will feel like just a few short weeks? Complaining about how hot it is and how hard it is to get active because you're just so sweaty. And sure eating fruits and veggies is easier -- but doesn't beer and chips and salsa taste so much better? And you sure did burn a ton of calories on that walk around the block, right?
So. It's the circle of life. I'm going to keep doing stuff to stay active and improve my life and keep my general outlook crabbily optimistic. I'm just not going to write about it here anymore. Maybe I'll have another blog again -- I've had so many, hard to imagine not writing and pretending like someone wants to read what I have to say. I think that writing with the singular focus of losing weight has just lost its appeal for me. Maybe it is because I have drifted off course. Maybe it's because I'm tired of bragging or explaining or justifying or flaunting or whatever trend I was on...
People did tell me I motivated them, especially in the beginning. If you were motivated, please know that in turn that this motivated me. To do more and try harder and show you that whatever you want to do -- you can.
I still believe this. I really do. I'm just kind of at a happy comfort phase right now. I'm getting active again and have found that I am really enjoying these boot camp experiences. There have been no nervous breakdowns like last year. (Linky: inner bad ass went out for cookies and post script) I am doing a round two with the Hampton Roads Adventure Boot Camp (there's a Groupon for it that expires tonight but they run specials all the time. And hey, if you buy it can you tell Adam that I referred you??) starting next week. My eating habits are not great, but much better than they were a few years ago.
I still struggle with my self-image, I probably always will. I am really working on that. Frankly, that's part of why this is my last blog entry about this part of my journey. I am desperately trying to get to a place where I can self-validate. Where I believe that I am an attractive, worthy person. Yes, I just put that out there. So, I'm trying to find the balance. I've ALWAYS been trying to find the balance. I want to be more active, I want to find ways that make me want to be active. I want to eat better, I want to find ways to WANT to eat better. And on, and on. I'm not really focused so much on losing weight or getting to a number anymore. I just want to be active, I want to be healthy and most importantly, I want to continue to look mahvelous!
I'm you. I'm just more out there about it than you are. That's okay. You're going to do okay. You had the power all along friends.
And again, I'll probably just be back in some other bloggy format. Some day. But for now --
Goodbye and good luck and much hugs!
Heather
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