The Mental Part

Yesterday was the second official team workout for our biggest loser challenge. By their scales, I am down a total of 9 lbs since the challenge started. Woot!

I got to the gym a little bit early and after my weigh in I was talking to some of the ladies about their progress. One of the ladies was talking about the mental part of it. She said that she was really working on "the mental part." And this is something that I have been talking to a lot of my friends about this week, so I thought I'd write about it here.

Because, I think the "mental part" in a weight loss/fitness journey is inevitably going to be different for everyone, but I also think that there are common phases that we all go through. I think this commonality that makes the journey universally understandable for anyone who has gone through it. But when you say the mental part is hard, and I say it is -- I know we're talking about different things.

Here is MY mental part:

Let me start by re-emphasizing that before this year I had NEVER engaged in any kind of regular work-out routine, ever. When I previously lost 50 lbs, I was using Weight Watchers and I was much more active than I had been. I was walking about 30 minutes a day on my breaks and had also incorporated some strength training, but it wasn't hardcore. I wasn't breaking a sweat really, and I certainly was never challenging myself. If someone told me to do a 5k, I would have probably said, "Oh, that sounds like something I might be able to do one day..." I certainly would not have started trying to prepare for it.

And so my mental part is right now is kind of weird. I carry a certain amount of pride that I have started exercising and with my accomplishments. But I am also very impatient with the process. I'm mentally ready to do this, so why is my body not going along? Why do I have to walk a 3.3 when I should be doing a 4.0? Why do I still get cramps and get worn out? Doesn't my body know that I'm ready to do this? Why is it not getting with the program??

And my frustration with myself for not being able to do more NOW lends itself to darker places. Like jealousy over other people's accomplishments and abilities to do things. Like Scott being up to a 4 minute mile at a walk/run already. It's not that I'm not extremely proud of what he's doing, but I'm more than a little envious that we started at the same time and he's already so much further ahead of me. It's hard to remember that he was in much better shape than me when we started because of all the work he does outside in the yard and gardening. And he has FAR less to lose to get to the top of his target weight range as I do -- about half in fact. So, he's not carrying as much on his frame as I am. So, it's a mixed bag with him because I have to remember these things but he is also trying to push me to do a little more than I think I can. And usually he's right. But it's important for me to remember that I can't do as much as he can yet.

Yet.

But this is definitely my biggest mental challenge. The tightrope between making sure that I'm working out "hard enough" to make a difference, but not so hard that I get hurt or that I completely dread doing it. Right now, I'm not at the dread point at all. I've already started being awake when the alarm goes off. I'm setting goals for myself and not trying to make crazy stretch goals -- but constantly trying out new ways to keep myself motivated. I'm open to new ideas and encouragement and a little butt-kicking from time to time.

It's funny because I don't think about the food part of it that much at all. I'm tracking what I eat with an app on my phone. For the most part, I'm staying pretty well within my daily target range. Saturday is "blow-diet" day in the Lee house. We relax our eating habits and drink. Sunday is the turn. We're somewhat relaxed but I try to get the reins back on and if I drink, I only do so with dinner. I'm not planning on blowing my diet EVERY Saturday, but I want to have the freedom built in so I can compensate for it the rest of the week.

The reason I mention my diet was because during one of the ladies in the group asked me what I had been eating last week. I really struggled with an answer. Food? I've eaten all kinds of things. The spinach pie was featured in a couple of meals. Some chicken. Protein shakes. Chili. Fruits. Why? What are you eating??

I'll be more focused on the eating when the body challenge is over, because then I think it's going to be more important. Plus my plan is to go back to Weight Watchers once this is over, so I can finally achieve lifetime status and never have to pay again!

My goal this week is to do 40 minutes of cardio every morning and to do strength training 3 times, so I'm more prepared on Saturday!

Wish me luck!

In it to win it,

Heather