And so now begins the work of reining back in and getting back on track.
Overindulgence weekend is drawing to a close and it was definitely devolving into sabotage. I'm not going to get into all the gory details. But there were definitely a lot of beverages and that means that I'm not sure what all I ate. There were many un-point friendly choices. I hydrated a lot and I definitely think that was important. But, not enough. That scale photo from 9/1? I've got a lot of work to get back there, even if it is new weight.
Yes, the "new weight" I alluded to in my earlier post. It's weight you've put on in a short period of time. While losing weight is never easy, this is the easiest weight to take off. For me, this weekend's weight is new weight. Last glance at the scale had me at 194. Now, 190 was something that hasn't been seen as regularly as I'd like -- but 194 was also behind me. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. But part of what's going to get me back to "the truth" is knuckling down.
Step one started today, but as usual with me it was a bit of a clumsy start. As you know, I'm doing the Susan G Komen 5k on October 13. I am still working on getting over my outdoor running anxiety. Today, I woke up and decided that I was going to work on that NOW. I used Map My Walk and created a 5k loop in my 'hood. Got dressed and prepared to hit the road. I decided I was just going to walk the whole thing. Just so I could remember what a 5k felt like and get acclimated to being outside, blah blah blah. Less than the half mile mark, it started to drizzle ever so slightly. Barely enough to be alarmed about. I was at a part of my 'hood that I have walked dozens of times because it's the path to talk our dog Charlie to the park. I was going to venture past my comfort zone into heretofore unchartered neighborhood territory... It was exciting. Unfortunately, just after I hit the one mile mark (I know this because the nice lady from Map My Walk told me), it started to rain a bit more. The one mile mark happened to coincide with being near the point of no return. I had passed the last recognizable spot to make a quick escape back home. I was going to try to force myself through it, but then I realized -- who am I kidding? I circled back and jogged/walked the rest of the way home.
I was only gone 22 minutes and made it 1.41 miles.
Still, it's a start. I know the course now. It will still be there in the weeks ahead. And I will try again. And I WILL succeed!
I'm tracking again after falling off of that. I'm thinking about restarting my weekly points today so I can have an easier start. I'm on the fence about that.
Anyways, now I'm being summoned to start the rest of my day -- and we're off!
hugs,
Heather
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Monday, September 3, 2012
Sunday, September 18, 2011
As I lay WILF*'ing
So, I'm wilfing around the internet, killing time until I can try to get cracking on a work course that was down for maintenance until 3pm, I found this awesome article on Facebook from NPR about a book on will power -- of all things!
Sometimes I think that if you just pay enough attention, there are pointers everywhere that tell you that you're heading in the right (or wrong) direction. The article talks about a new book called, creatively enough, Willpower and it's by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney. (Here is a link to article on NPR.) These guys studied willpower, and while it's not something easy to study they did learn that it is possible. The most interesting thing is that the more you use your willpower "muscle", the easier it is to fatigue it. So, when you're really going to actively engage it, you should make it for something good because too many uses and it gets fatigued easily.
That's right. You wear out your willpower muscle by the fact that you are using it. In a way, this makes sense -- you wear out your non-psychological muscles by using them. But, exercising them also makes them stronger -- and the same thing goes for your willpower! Brilliant! Further, exercising your willpower to do anything will lead to better self-control in other areas of your life. For example, in one study they asked students to actively work to have better posture for a week. At the end of the week, these students displayed a greater ability to exert self-control in areas that weren't related then students who hadn't been working on their posture. How cool is that??
The reason that this is so cosmically kismet is because I decided to make last night my first serious attempt at having a farewell to indulgence tour. Meaning, I went out and kicked it old school rock star style to get it all out of my system and, hopefully, enable me to settle into a slightly less rock star daily life. My current plan is to take a page out of my inspiring, inspired reader (that was this recent post) and cut out drinking during the week. Since many of you may not be part-time alcoholics, you may not recognize that this is a big deal. Let me assure you. It is a big deal. This was one of the major ways that I saw success earlier this year -- I had significantly cut back the amount of drinking I was doing on weeknights. As early morning workouts became the norm, the necessity of not over-indulging became more and more paramount. Also, my job at that point was not at the stressful as hell level, which it has since devolved in to. (When you hear that there have been tornadoes, tropical storms, or generally any kind of major natural disaster, just realize that somewhere not too far away there is a property claims adjuster eating cheetos and wine for dinner again and promising herself that tomorrow is going to be the day that she stops this behavior. And usually, it isn't.)
SO. This is a big step. It is NOT going to be easy. Therefore, the only thing I am working on right now is getting back to the gym in the morning and not drinking on nights when I have to work the next day. I'm not going to start WW or any serious calorie monitoring yet. I'm going to exercise my willpower muscle a little bit harder by combining these two things and we'll see how it goes.
I will try to continue to document both my success and failure here.
Still trying to think of a catchy sign-off,
Heather
*PS: It has come to my attention that WILF is not in the lexicon. Here is my Facebook comment/explantion: Technically it's supposed to be WWILF -- it stands for "what was I looking for"? It goes something like this. I go on the internet to check my bank balance. Oh, the check to my hairdresser finally cleared. I'm gonna check Facebook and see what she's up to. What? So and so had a clam bake? I like clams. Maybe I"ll make clam chowder, let me find a recipe for that. Clams are really good. I wonder how much my friend in Boston pays for them. How much are tickets to Boston... THAT is WILF'ing. What WAS I looking for again???? ;-)
Sometimes I think that if you just pay enough attention, there are pointers everywhere that tell you that you're heading in the right (or wrong) direction. The article talks about a new book called, creatively enough, Willpower and it's by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney. (Here is a link to article on NPR.) These guys studied willpower, and while it's not something easy to study they did learn that it is possible. The most interesting thing is that the more you use your willpower "muscle", the easier it is to fatigue it. So, when you're really going to actively engage it, you should make it for something good because too many uses and it gets fatigued easily.
That's right. You wear out your willpower muscle by the fact that you are using it. In a way, this makes sense -- you wear out your non-psychological muscles by using them. But, exercising them also makes them stronger -- and the same thing goes for your willpower! Brilliant! Further, exercising your willpower to do anything will lead to better self-control in other areas of your life. For example, in one study they asked students to actively work to have better posture for a week. At the end of the week, these students displayed a greater ability to exert self-control in areas that weren't related then students who hadn't been working on their posture. How cool is that??
The reason that this is so cosmically kismet is because I decided to make last night my first serious attempt at having a farewell to indulgence tour. Meaning, I went out and kicked it old school rock star style to get it all out of my system and, hopefully, enable me to settle into a slightly less rock star daily life. My current plan is to take a page out of my inspiring, inspired reader (that was this recent post) and cut out drinking during the week. Since many of you may not be part-time alcoholics, you may not recognize that this is a big deal. Let me assure you. It is a big deal. This was one of the major ways that I saw success earlier this year -- I had significantly cut back the amount of drinking I was doing on weeknights. As early morning workouts became the norm, the necessity of not over-indulging became more and more paramount. Also, my job at that point was not at the stressful as hell level, which it has since devolved in to. (When you hear that there have been tornadoes, tropical storms, or generally any kind of major natural disaster, just realize that somewhere not too far away there is a property claims adjuster eating cheetos and wine for dinner again and promising herself that tomorrow is going to be the day that she stops this behavior. And usually, it isn't.)
SO. This is a big step. It is NOT going to be easy. Therefore, the only thing I am working on right now is getting back to the gym in the morning and not drinking on nights when I have to work the next day. I'm not going to start WW or any serious calorie monitoring yet. I'm going to exercise my willpower muscle a little bit harder by combining these two things and we'll see how it goes.
I will try to continue to document both my success and failure here.
Still trying to think of a catchy sign-off,
Heather
*PS: It has come to my attention that WILF is not in the lexicon. Here is my Facebook comment/explantion: Technically it's supposed to be WWILF -- it stands for "what was I looking for"? It goes something like this. I go on the internet to check my bank balance. Oh, the check to my hairdresser finally cleared. I'm gonna check Facebook and see what she's up to. What? So and so had a clam bake? I like clams. Maybe I"ll make clam chowder, let me find a recipe for that. Clams are really good. I wonder how much my friend in Boston pays for them. How much are tickets to Boston... THAT is WILF'ing. What WAS I looking for again???? ;-)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
A Complex Love
Well. It finally happened.
I miss working out.
So, here's an update since my last real post 13 days ago. Last Tuesday, my former boss asked me if I wanted to deploy for CAT assistance (more on what this means) the next day. Since I had already volunteered to be on the "go" list, I said yes. The day before, I had completed two work-outs and had aggravated a weird strain in what my grandma used to call your "giddy-up" -- this is the tendon area between your groin and thigh. I decided to skip my Tuesday morning workout because I was still sore and I figured I would just go after work. WRONG! After work, I was then relegated to running around packing and trying to decide what to bring for an indefinite period of time for CAT duty.
CAT duty means catastrophe duty. When something catastrophic happens (like the tornadoes that have hit so many parts of the country), insurance companies deploy adjusters to assist in adjusting claims. It's a very stressful time because you don't know the area, you don't know the situation and you are meeting people after they have been through some of the worst disasters that have ever happened to them. You're on the road a lot and when you're not, you're in your hotel room working on estimates and calling customers.
Needless to say, it is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Especially if your hotel does not have a gym.
Which mine does not. Now, people who are truly dedicated to the lifestyle would have found a way. But, I'm just not a big go outside and find a path to walk/run in an unfamiliar area. On a side of town that I'm not convinced is the "good" side. Off of a main 50 mph road. So, no -- I'm not that dedicated. I did recently decide that I could just walk/run circles around the hotel, because how is that different than doing it around a track? But, I just figured that out today and I just didn't get very far in that process.
So, I miss working out. A lot. So much so that I came up with the crazy idea that the goal I really want to work towards is being able to do a triathlon. I told Scott this and he mocked me -- because I can't even swim. That's why it's a goal you work towards -- like a Masters degree. It takes time to get to, but if I can work towards being able to accomplish it then imagine what good shape I'd be in.
Anyways, as much as I dreaded the gym for various reasons -- I miss the tedium of the elliptical and the dreadmill. They gave me confidence in myself and confidence that I was working towards a healthier lifestyle. I'm trying to be good here, but it's impossible at night when we get together because it's drinking friendly.
The CAT is excellent experience for me and the direction that I want my career to go, but I hope I can get back home to my routine and my cardio soon!
I miss working out.
So, here's an update since my last real post 13 days ago. Last Tuesday, my former boss asked me if I wanted to deploy for CAT assistance (more on what this means) the next day. Since I had already volunteered to be on the "go" list, I said yes. The day before, I had completed two work-outs and had aggravated a weird strain in what my grandma used to call your "giddy-up" -- this is the tendon area between your groin and thigh. I decided to skip my Tuesday morning workout because I was still sore and I figured I would just go after work. WRONG! After work, I was then relegated to running around packing and trying to decide what to bring for an indefinite period of time for CAT duty.
CAT duty means catastrophe duty. When something catastrophic happens (like the tornadoes that have hit so many parts of the country), insurance companies deploy adjusters to assist in adjusting claims. It's a very stressful time because you don't know the area, you don't know the situation and you are meeting people after they have been through some of the worst disasters that have ever happened to them. You're on the road a lot and when you're not, you're in your hotel room working on estimates and calling customers.
Needless to say, it is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Especially if your hotel does not have a gym.
Which mine does not. Now, people who are truly dedicated to the lifestyle would have found a way. But, I'm just not a big go outside and find a path to walk/run in an unfamiliar area. On a side of town that I'm not convinced is the "good" side. Off of a main 50 mph road. So, no -- I'm not that dedicated. I did recently decide that I could just walk/run circles around the hotel, because how is that different than doing it around a track? But, I just figured that out today and I just didn't get very far in that process.
So, I miss working out. A lot. So much so that I came up with the crazy idea that the goal I really want to work towards is being able to do a triathlon. I told Scott this and he mocked me -- because I can't even swim. That's why it's a goal you work towards -- like a Masters degree. It takes time to get to, but if I can work towards being able to accomplish it then imagine what good shape I'd be in.
Anyways, as much as I dreaded the gym for various reasons -- I miss the tedium of the elliptical and the dreadmill. They gave me confidence in myself and confidence that I was working towards a healthier lifestyle. I'm trying to be good here, but it's impossible at night when we get together because it's drinking friendly.
The CAT is excellent experience for me and the direction that I want my career to go, but I hope I can get back home to my routine and my cardio soon!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Weekend update
(insert catchy theme music)
As usual, some highs and lows to report. Yesterday was, of course, body challenge workout day. Last week, we had the workout from hell, so I had been feeling a lot of trepidation going in to this one. But, the most awesome thing happened in the beginning. One of the guys from the challenge said, "Hey, I think that we have a problem motivating each other because we've been doing this all this time and I don't even know half of your names." So, we went around the room and did a name refresher and then during the workout we were able to yell (or grunt or cry) out each other's names and give each other moral support. That was really cool. Then after our workout, which didn't feel quite as horrible as it usually does, one of the take-charge type women in our group said, "Hey, anyone want to hang out afterwards and talk about how things are going?" So, several of us did that and that was also very uplifting. Like WW and how everyone talks about the challenges that they face. Scott and I left feeling quite inspired.
But, then we went to a birthday party and ate "bad things." This is a post I will be writing in the future, because this plays into a lot of the diet related issues I have with weight loss. Then that night I hosted a Lia Sophia Jewelry party. I made the statement this week that I was not going to drink until Sertoma Spring Fever, but unfortunately I did fall off the wagon last night. I will say that I did not leap off and that I pumped the brakes FAR more than I have on previous Saturdays. But, a house filled with women drinking plus the availability of red wine made it far more difficult for me to abstain. Still, and I know that I'm rationalizing so give me some slack -- I drank a LOT of water first and did not drink to the point of fuzziness. I even drank water in between.
And when I got on the scale this morning, it was the same as it was yesterday -- which usually doesn't happen on a Sunday morning.
SO. I am once again renewing my commitment to try to stay on the wagon until Sertoma. I'm feeling recharged by my group at the gym. And I'm ready to go run... some errands with my husband!
Enjoy what's left of YOUR weekend!
As usual, some highs and lows to report. Yesterday was, of course, body challenge workout day. Last week, we had the workout from hell, so I had been feeling a lot of trepidation going in to this one. But, the most awesome thing happened in the beginning. One of the guys from the challenge said, "Hey, I think that we have a problem motivating each other because we've been doing this all this time and I don't even know half of your names." So, we went around the room and did a name refresher and then during the workout we were able to yell (or grunt or cry) out each other's names and give each other moral support. That was really cool. Then after our workout, which didn't feel quite as horrible as it usually does, one of the take-charge type women in our group said, "Hey, anyone want to hang out afterwards and talk about how things are going?" So, several of us did that and that was also very uplifting. Like WW and how everyone talks about the challenges that they face. Scott and I left feeling quite inspired.
But, then we went to a birthday party and ate "bad things." This is a post I will be writing in the future, because this plays into a lot of the diet related issues I have with weight loss. Then that night I hosted a Lia Sophia Jewelry party. I made the statement this week that I was not going to drink until Sertoma Spring Fever, but unfortunately I did fall off the wagon last night. I will say that I did not leap off and that I pumped the brakes FAR more than I have on previous Saturdays. But, a house filled with women drinking plus the availability of red wine made it far more difficult for me to abstain. Still, and I know that I'm rationalizing so give me some slack -- I drank a LOT of water first and did not drink to the point of fuzziness. I even drank water in between.
And when I got on the scale this morning, it was the same as it was yesterday -- which usually doesn't happen on a Sunday morning.
SO. I am once again renewing my commitment to try to stay on the wagon until Sertoma. I'm feeling recharged by my group at the gym. And I'm ready to go run... some errands with my husband!
Enjoy what's left of YOUR weekend!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Highway to the Comfort Zone
First, and foremost, a few people have come up to me recently and mentioned that they enjoy my blog. I just want to tell you how much I appreciate that! It does inflate my ego, which may be negatively affecting my scale results -- but it is what it is. Seriously, thanks for the compliments -- it's nice to know I'm not whistling in the dark here.
But, then again, if you're trying to lose weight, have lost weight, decided to keep it on -- no matter where you are on your journey, you're not really alone are you? There is ALWAYS someone who knows what you're going through and isn't shy about telling you. As a favorite song line goes, "there's always someone with a big nose who knows and trips you up and laughs when you fall." There is both comfort and frustration in that, don't you think? On the one hand, it's really nice to know that you only have to take 3 steps to run into someone who has been on some part of the journey that you are on -- but on the other hand, sometimes you wish they would just shut the f* up.
Maybe that last part is just me, I do tend to have that part of my personality. Smile and nod, but there's a part of me that wishes you would just shut up. I mean, not YOU! :)
As an example, as Scott and I got ready for the 5k there was a morning where I was once again trying to put some running into my walking regime. As the 5 minute mark grows close for the interval, I really think that part of my heart rate increase is strictly the fear that accompanies what an idiot I feel like whenever I try to run. I try to make it for a minute, but most of the time 30-45 seconds is doing pretty good. One morning after we had worked out together, Scott made a comment that he was "disappointed" that I only had a few seconds to go to make it to a one minute mark running and I stopped. I remember letting this remark fester for a while. But, I finally thought, you know -- for all he knows, I was shooting for 30 seconds and overshot what I trying to accomplish. So, whatever.
An acquaintance was talking to me (gossiping) about the weight loss efforts of someone else we knew. She surmised that this other person simply wasn't challenging herself enough. That she was using excuses and not trying to push herself harder. My comment was that no one can make you be ready but you.
But, I don't think she took what I meant in the spirit that I meant it. But, it goes along with the comfort zone issue that I talk about frequently (here's one example). It's a very fine line between being comfortable with your routine and knowing when to step it up. See, for me, this conversation with this lady was one of the secondary factors in my decision this week to start stepping up instead of sitting down. (The primary was a rougher than usual weekly challenge. LOTS of intervals and pressure to "reach for the moon, because if you miss you still get a star." I should've written a blog entry on this experience, but let's just say the pain and near humiliation was seconded only by the Mt. Trashmore work-out also linked above.)
Because, I thought that someone could just as easily have this conversation about me behind my back. And while I don't entirely care what other people say about me behind my back, it was frustrating to me because I realized it was true. I haven't been challenging myself more. I've been self-congratulatory about getting up at dawn to go to the gym and for all of my recent accomplishments -- despite the fact that the scale is not going down and I'm regularly having a blow diet celebration every Saturday. Despite the fact that I do NOT like to pick things up and put them down -- that's another Heather Lee, thank you!
So, today I had my first post-work workout and hope to continue this for at least 3 additional weekdays weekly. I am also going to make a very strong effort to try to stay completely on the wagon until Sertoma Spring Fever. (If you've never been to this event, Scott describes it as being like an outdoor open bar wedding reception to celebrate Spring. I say it's Christmas for drunks. Either way, it is a TON of fun!) That's 25 days of no drinking. That is a lot of awareness! But, I may be up to the challenge. We'll see. There are many challenges along the way, but think of the benefit!
Because here's the thing, there are only 43 days until the body challenge is over, and 7 days after that is my 38th birthday. My goal is to be in the One-derland by my birthday. If I get off this highway and get into the challenge zone then that is a highly achievable goal. 50 days to lose 15-ish pounds -- that's an average of 2 a week. Wish me luck!
Taking the next exit to overdrive,
Heather
PS -- Funny thing though, even though the scale isn't moving much, I'm millimeters away from dropping a jeans size. So, I know things are working -- just got to get it all together!
But, then again, if you're trying to lose weight, have lost weight, decided to keep it on -- no matter where you are on your journey, you're not really alone are you? There is ALWAYS someone who knows what you're going through and isn't shy about telling you. As a favorite song line goes, "there's always someone with a big nose who knows and trips you up and laughs when you fall." There is both comfort and frustration in that, don't you think? On the one hand, it's really nice to know that you only have to take 3 steps to run into someone who has been on some part of the journey that you are on -- but on the other hand, sometimes you wish they would just shut the f* up.
Maybe that last part is just me, I do tend to have that part of my personality. Smile and nod, but there's a part of me that wishes you would just shut up. I mean, not YOU! :)
As an example, as Scott and I got ready for the 5k there was a morning where I was once again trying to put some running into my walking regime. As the 5 minute mark grows close for the interval, I really think that part of my heart rate increase is strictly the fear that accompanies what an idiot I feel like whenever I try to run. I try to make it for a minute, but most of the time 30-45 seconds is doing pretty good. One morning after we had worked out together, Scott made a comment that he was "disappointed" that I only had a few seconds to go to make it to a one minute mark running and I stopped. I remember letting this remark fester for a while. But, I finally thought, you know -- for all he knows, I was shooting for 30 seconds and overshot what I trying to accomplish. So, whatever.
An acquaintance was talking to me (gossiping) about the weight loss efforts of someone else we knew. She surmised that this other person simply wasn't challenging herself enough. That she was using excuses and not trying to push herself harder. My comment was that no one can make you be ready but you.
But, I don't think she took what I meant in the spirit that I meant it. But, it goes along with the comfort zone issue that I talk about frequently (here's one example). It's a very fine line between being comfortable with your routine and knowing when to step it up. See, for me, this conversation with this lady was one of the secondary factors in my decision this week to start stepping up instead of sitting down. (The primary was a rougher than usual weekly challenge. LOTS of intervals and pressure to "reach for the moon, because if you miss you still get a star." I should've written a blog entry on this experience, but let's just say the pain and near humiliation was seconded only by the Mt. Trashmore work-out also linked above.)
Because, I thought that someone could just as easily have this conversation about me behind my back. And while I don't entirely care what other people say about me behind my back, it was frustrating to me because I realized it was true. I haven't been challenging myself more. I've been self-congratulatory about getting up at dawn to go to the gym and for all of my recent accomplishments -- despite the fact that the scale is not going down and I'm regularly having a blow diet celebration every Saturday. Despite the fact that I do NOT like to pick things up and put them down -- that's another Heather Lee, thank you!
So, today I had my first post-work workout and hope to continue this for at least 3 additional weekdays weekly. I am also going to make a very strong effort to try to stay completely on the wagon until Sertoma Spring Fever. (If you've never been to this event, Scott describes it as being like an outdoor open bar wedding reception to celebrate Spring. I say it's Christmas for drunks. Either way, it is a TON of fun!) That's 25 days of no drinking. That is a lot of awareness! But, I may be up to the challenge. We'll see. There are many challenges along the way, but think of the benefit!
Because here's the thing, there are only 43 days until the body challenge is over, and 7 days after that is my 38th birthday. My goal is to be in the One-derland by my birthday. If I get off this highway and get into the challenge zone then that is a highly achievable goal. 50 days to lose 15-ish pounds -- that's an average of 2 a week. Wish me luck!
Taking the next exit to overdrive,
Heather
PS -- Funny thing though, even though the scale isn't moving much, I'm millimeters away from dropping a jeans size. So, I know things are working -- just got to get it all together!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Cheating on myself
Every weight loss blog has to have one good confessional from time to time, right?
It has not been a great week progress-wise. Workout on Monday morning felt half-assed. I think I was suffering from post-race arrogance and tried to do too much too soon. Not sure, but it was not a stellar performance.
Monday afternoon I was feeling cruddy and left work early and it carried into Tuesday. (TMI alert -- turned out to be the period from hell.) No workout Tuesday. Wednesday I had a good workout but then my "diet" went to hell.
Let's talk about that for a moment. Honestly, I'm not on a diet, which is part of the reason I don't talk about that part of it so much here. Currently, I try to watch what I eat and I have a tracker on my phone that I track the calories of everything I eat -- mostly. Only this week my tracking went to hell, mostly. The other thing I do is not drink during the week. Well, that's the plan. But Wednesday was such a glorious day and it was my first full day on my earlier schedule, so I was filled with the excitement of getting off work when the sun was out and Scott suggested margaritas on a patio somewhere -- who can resist?? Who has two thumbs and loves a salt-rimmed sour tequila treat?? Of course, by the time we got there, it was a bit too late to drink outside because it was chilly again, but the margarita cannot be denied. And that continued into too much vino with our neighbors.
Which led to me oversleeping for my workout today. Ugh.
Still, I made it tonight and got under a 16 minute mile, which is huge for me. I tracked all of my food today. I had a good confessional call with Julia, which purges my soul and helps me talk myself out of the beating myself up cycle. I mean, look at my first post where I didn't want to talk to people about my weight loss efforts, where I was baby-stepping. I really have come a long, long way. I have to keep focusing on that and not get in a cycle of beating myself up. It's a slippery slope, but talking to you invisible, imagined blog audience really does help a lot.
Big hugs my imaginary friends!
Heather
It has not been a great week progress-wise. Workout on Monday morning felt half-assed. I think I was suffering from post-race arrogance and tried to do too much too soon. Not sure, but it was not a stellar performance.
Monday afternoon I was feeling cruddy and left work early and it carried into Tuesday. (TMI alert -- turned out to be the period from hell.) No workout Tuesday. Wednesday I had a good workout but then my "diet" went to hell.
Let's talk about that for a moment. Honestly, I'm not on a diet, which is part of the reason I don't talk about that part of it so much here. Currently, I try to watch what I eat and I have a tracker on my phone that I track the calories of everything I eat -- mostly. Only this week my tracking went to hell, mostly. The other thing I do is not drink during the week. Well, that's the plan. But Wednesday was such a glorious day and it was my first full day on my earlier schedule, so I was filled with the excitement of getting off work when the sun was out and Scott suggested margaritas on a patio somewhere -- who can resist?? Who has two thumbs and loves a salt-rimmed sour tequila treat?? Of course, by the time we got there, it was a bit too late to drink outside because it was chilly again, but the margarita cannot be denied. And that continued into too much vino with our neighbors.
Which led to me oversleeping for my workout today. Ugh.
Still, I made it tonight and got under a 16 minute mile, which is huge for me. I tracked all of my food today. I had a good confessional call with Julia, which purges my soul and helps me talk myself out of the beating myself up cycle. I mean, look at my first post where I didn't want to talk to people about my weight loss efforts, where I was baby-stepping. I really have come a long, long way. I have to keep focusing on that and not get in a cycle of beating myself up. It's a slippery slope, but talking to you invisible, imagined blog audience really does help a lot.
Big hugs my imaginary friends!
Heather
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