Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Yes, I did say cranky cocoon

When we last met our heroine (that's me!), she was preparing for the health risk assessment and facing the dread of not meeting what felt like a small goal.  But friends, the gods were with me that day -- their scale was off and they thought I weighed like 4 pounds less than I did at home.  And then as a courtesy, they take an extra 3 lbs off for your clothes.

Listen, I'm not being hard on myself.  I weighed myself at home before I left so I would be prepared for the bad news.  I'm pretty sure that I did not lose 7 lbs on the drive to work.  But whatever!  I'll take it.  It means that I did lose the 10% and our company gives us a little bonus for achieving that goal.  Winning!

Also, my boot camp finally started.  It was delayed til tonight due to weather conditions.  Loved it.  It was a good workout but the trainer is not a punisher.  Actively does not believe in being a punisher so there was none of that feeling like a loser because I can't do things.  Just a good workout.  I am in love!  With exercise, not the trainer.

That's right.  I just typed the sentence I am in love with exercise.  Hilarious.  But I have been so friggin' cranky lately and everything seems to set me off.  It was so great to have an outlet to push some of that crap out.

Did I cuss and fuss the whole time?  Of course!  Did I rock the push-ups and the dips and squats?  Um, no.  Have we met?  But just doing the damned thing.

I was so nervous driving over there.  Luckily BFF Tina talked to me for a while and distracted me.  And as soon as I got there and saw that, as promised, the women (or the ladies as the trainer kept calling us) were a variety of shapes and sizes and fitness levels.  I found some ladies to chum up to, and good thing because we had to get in groups of three and I would have been awkward person out if I hadn't put on the Heather show.  Hooray for the Heather Show!

And hooray for exercise -- I'm starting to feel like there's a crack in my cranky cocoon and this butterfly can emerge and enjoy the Spring!

Endorphins rock!

(((hugs)))

Heather

Monday, March 4, 2013

Can't you read the signs?

We have our annual health risk assessment this week.  Does your company do these things?  It's a 20 minute deal where they weigh, measure, poke and prod you.  Every year, the assessment is always the same -- I am super healthy except for being so fat.  It's almost like they're surprised that I'm so healthy when they share the numbers with me.

I'm just really excited because it's yet another opportunity to feel bad about how far off the wagon I've gone.  Nothing's better than that, right?  See, at one point I only needed to lose two pounds in order to get to a weight that would represent a 10% weight loss since last year.  Two pounds. That is nothing.  Except when it's everything.  As the day approaches, I just feel more and more glum.

I mean, by now it's even more than 2 pounds, but that's only because of the sabotage over the 2 pounds. Look, I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but you're the one eating up this shit like it's some grand wisdom so what does that say about you?  :)

I'm trying to deal with it.  I'm looking ahead.  The goal would have been nice to achieve but as I just wrote about, I just couldn't do it.  I'm still trying to get my head in the game.

Here are some things that I'm taking as signs I'm heading in the right direction...  Next week the boot camp starts up.  I'm finally really turning the corner on the Tidewater crud and think I should have renewed lung capacity soon.  There was very little coughing today and most of the weekend was good in that regard too.    Still, I am scared to DEATH of starting this thing by myself and still am not entirely sure what I was thinking when I signed up.  I have thought about emailing them dozens of times requesting to reschedule, under the guise of concern about my ability to exercise after being half-assed sick for so long...  But I know deep down that this is a cop-out and I'm trying to make a come-back here people!

Next, I cooked something this weekend!  Anyone that knows me knows that this a crazy concept, but I was hankering for both spaghetti squash and pad thai and found a recipe that allowed me to have both.  OMG.  It was so very good.  (Here's the recipe.  I know her blog is much prettier than mine, but please remember to come back okay?)  In addition, I bought ingredients to recreate a sandwich that I had this weekend but in a healthier way.  The sandwich was at Panera and was a panini that had turkey with artichoke-parmesan spread and apples.  There were a lot of other ingredients, but I'm not trying to be Paula Deen y'all.  I'm going to recreate it with a light Alouette spread, rotisserie chicken and Granny Smith apples.  I can't wait to try it!

And final sign that I'm heading in the right direction -- I signed up for a Glo in the Dark fun run in part because it was "only" 2 miles.  Besides, it's the night before Sertoma -- what better way to pre-game for an all-day drunk fest than a 2 mile jog followed by beer?!

Okay, so the signs aren't ALL pointing that I'm shaping up -- but seriously, I'm gonna stop going to Sertoma as soon as the only people going have their original, God-given faces.  :)

(((HUGS)))
Heather