Well, Spring is springing. This is a season that gets most people excited about warm weather on the horizon and the chance to bust out their toes and revel in the freedom from turtlenecks.
Most people, but not fat people. Or not this fat person anyways. Maybe you are not affected by the change of seasons. Maybe it doesn't create the same level of heartburn in you that it does for me. If not, you may want to peruse other blogs and pop back in at the next entry...
Since 2004, when I first started caring about the extra weight that I carry, the change of seasons traditionally induces a sort of panic. What the heck am I gonna wear? Usually I am in some sort of weight adjustment, up or down and nothing in my wardrobe is appropriate. Too tight or too small or just too "what was I THINKING?!"
In fact, I have quite a lot of "what was I thinking" in my wardrobe. Things that I purchased just to get through a season, to fill in gaps. They are quickly too small, too big or just too blah for me to want to wear -- and yet I hold on to them. If I emptied my closet and drawers of all of the clothes I have purchased to try to survive another temperature change, I would probably have all kinds of additional storage space. That's not even addressing the containers shoved under my bed. (But this is perhaps fodder for another blog of the future -- Inside Heather's Disorganization.)
Shopping results in a lot of frustration, particularly when I am in a transitional phase either up or down. Nothing seems to fit right and Lord knows I am not going to find a tailor, much less pay them to alter a $30 pair of pants. And I'm not going to spend more on "good" pants when I know that this time I am going to get down to (name current desired size) once and for ALL. So, capris bring with them the humiliation of too tight in the thighs and too loose in the waist and the joy that is my cankles. Skirts must be flame retardant in order not to catch on fire from my thigh friction. Dresses are frequently sleeveless and my arms haven't been much to write home about. Not to mention the material that these adorable dresses are made of frequently are dead give-aways that I am a lady who does not glow but sweats, thank you VERY much! Tank tops? With these boobs? I think not. Even shoes are menacing. The adorable espadrilles that were so popular last year have those laces that go up your calf and just look like a giant neon sign that says "CANKLES ON BOARD".
I have a shopping event coming this weekend. While I look forward to spending time with my girlfriend, the time in the dressing room is looming over me like a dark cloud. But since I'm writing this in April wearing a turtleneck because of the lack of dressing options and the blessing of a cooler day (I'm not going to lie -- climate change is friendly to the clothing challenged) it is time to find some transitional options. I'm hoping to find some options that are both budget friendly and more representative of usefulness through the summer, but I'm guessing I'll leave with a maxi dress to wear to Sertoma and a renewed vow to get more serious about adding extra workouts to my week.
Happy Spring anyways!
hugs,
Heather
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