First, and foremost, a few people have come up to me recently and mentioned that they enjoy my blog. I just want to tell you how much I appreciate that! It does inflate my ego, which may be negatively affecting my scale results -- but it is what it is. Seriously, thanks for the compliments -- it's nice to know I'm not whistling in the dark here.
But, then again, if you're trying to lose weight, have lost weight, decided to keep it on -- no matter where you are on your journey, you're not really alone are you? There is ALWAYS someone who knows what you're going through and isn't shy about telling you. As a favorite song line goes, "there's always someone with a big nose who knows and trips you up and laughs when you fall." There is both comfort and frustration in that, don't you think? On the one hand, it's really nice to know that you only have to take 3 steps to run into someone who has been on some part of the journey that you are on -- but on the other hand, sometimes you wish they would just shut the f* up.
Maybe that last part is just me, I do tend to have that part of my personality. Smile and nod, but there's a part of me that wishes you would just shut up. I mean, not YOU! :)
As an example, as Scott and I got ready for the 5k there was a morning where I was once again trying to put some running into my walking regime. As the 5 minute mark grows close for the interval, I really think that part of my heart rate increase is strictly the fear that accompanies what an idiot I feel like whenever I try to run. I try to make it for a minute, but most of the time 30-45 seconds is doing pretty good. One morning after we had worked out together, Scott made a comment that he was "disappointed" that I only had a few seconds to go to make it to a one minute mark running and I stopped. I remember letting this remark fester for a while. But, I finally thought, you know -- for all he knows, I was shooting for 30 seconds and overshot what I trying to accomplish. So, whatever.
An acquaintance was talking to me (gossiping) about the weight loss efforts of someone else we knew. She surmised that this other person simply wasn't challenging herself enough. That she was using excuses and not trying to push herself harder. My comment was that no one can make you be ready but you.
But, I don't think she took what I meant in the spirit that I meant it. But, it goes along with the comfort zone issue that I talk about frequently (here's one example). It's a very fine line between being comfortable with your routine and knowing when to step it up. See, for me, this conversation with this lady was one of the secondary factors in my decision this week to start stepping up instead of sitting down. (The primary was a rougher than usual weekly challenge. LOTS of intervals and pressure to "reach for the moon, because if you miss you still get a star." I should've written a blog entry on this experience, but let's just say the pain and near humiliation was seconded only by the Mt. Trashmore work-out also linked above.)
Because, I thought that someone could just as easily have this conversation about me behind my back. And while I don't entirely care what other people say about me behind my back, it was frustrating to me because I realized it was true. I haven't been challenging myself more. I've been self-congratulatory about getting up at dawn to go to the gym and for all of my recent accomplishments -- despite the fact that the scale is not going down and I'm regularly having a blow diet celebration every Saturday. Despite the fact that I do NOT like to pick things up and put them down -- that's another Heather Lee, thank you!
So, today I had my first post-work workout and hope to continue this for at least 3 additional weekdays weekly. I am also going to make a very strong effort to try to stay completely on the wagon until Sertoma Spring Fever. (If you've never been to this event, Scott describes it as being like an outdoor open bar wedding reception to celebrate Spring. I say it's Christmas for drunks. Either way, it is a TON of fun!) That's 25 days of no drinking. That is a lot of awareness! But, I may be up to the challenge. We'll see. There are many challenges along the way, but think of the benefit!
Because here's the thing, there are only 43 days until the body challenge is over, and 7 days after that is my 38th birthday. My goal is to be in the One-derland by my birthday. If I get off this highway and get into the challenge zone then that is a highly achievable goal. 50 days to lose 15-ish pounds -- that's an average of 2 a week. Wish me luck!
Taking the next exit to overdrive,
Heather
PS -- Funny thing though, even though the scale isn't moving much, I'm millimeters away from dropping a jeans size. So, I know things are working -- just got to get it all together!
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