One of the reasons that I enjoy Ms. Bitchcake's blog so much, besides the gorgeous pictures of New York is that she will frequently write about what goes through her head during her various work-outs. Especially in the last few years when she's been super-active. (If you're looking for inspiration on your own journey, I really recommend reading her early posts. While she is very awesome now, it's not the same since she's already reached goal and not losing anymore.) Anyways, I think about this all the time -- mostly because I have so many varied thoughts during my own workouts. Frequently involving how I don't want to do them.
And I started trying to write this last night and got distracted... Which actually worked out, because tonight's Weight Watcher's meeting topic was, in part, about the mental part. We talked about habits and how long it takes to create them (66 days, studies have shown and here's your link if you'd like to read that) and then how long it can take to break them. (My quip was it depends on how good the cookies are...) We talked about bad habits that we have broken or ones that we need to break.
I think about this a lot. Sometimes while on the dreadmill, as I mentioned above. I don't really feel wholly cured of many of my bad habits (see also: wino, strapping on tortilla chips like a feedbag), but I feel like I'm an evolving work. Every chance I have to go one way or the other, when I go in a direction that feels "right" I feel like that's progress. But these are small steps. And while I recognize and give myself credit for these particular activity points -- I know that I have a long way to go. I KNOW that I have not fully embraced a full lifestyle change.
I know this because I still like to party like a rock star. One thing that's changing about that is that even when the things I am tracking are embarrassing - I am still tracking them or trying to. And yes, I did track the shots I did on Saturday night thankyouverymuch. Sometimes, I just overcount but I'm really trying to be diligent when it comes to this. I'm trying to make the formation of a habit feel like the actual habit, but it's still tricky. It's the hardest exercise I do -- the mental part. So, as so often is the case, got the perfect quote from our awesome leader Sherrie tonight -- "Your body can do anything -- it's just your brain you have to convince."
I will keep this in my mental bag of tricks as I prep for the 5k in October and as I continue to work to be a natural Weight Watcher.
hugs,
Heather
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Reflection leads to action
One of the things I regret the most about the time that I wasn't blogging regularly is that I like to go back and read past posts in order to gauge my progress. This is one of the reasons I blog. It's one of the reasons I decided to start posting a scale photo at the beginning of every month. Since I wasn't blogging last summer during the Summer of Lovehandles, I don't have comparison with where I'm at now.
But, now as we are -- sadly -- winding down and summer and heading in to Fall, I am getting close to where I picked up writing again. I picked up this gem from the end of September, which is mostly all reflective and gave us the mantra "today is just today." But at the end, I write about a gym visit, and I stated that I did an under 16 minute mile. Well, yesterday I did 3.27 miles on the old dreadmill and my pace was 14:14 minutes/mile. AND that was mostly running! This comparison to how far I've come and the fact that I ran almost the whole thing... It all gave me the confidence to FINALLY sign up for another 5k!
Oh my God!
It's for Susan G. Komen for the Cure and it's on October 13. As soon as I figure out how, I'll try to set up a way if you'd like to donate on behalf of my fundraising. Here's the link to the Susan G. Komen Tidewater homepage until I can figure something else out.
Holy crap, this means I will really need to get over my anxiousness about running outside. I want to try to run the whole thing and my goal is to do it in 40 minutes or less. I think this is a VERY reasonable, attainable goal given where I am right now and the fact that I have 2 months (almost) to train.
Excited, nervous, scared... But, hey -- at least I've got something new to write about! :)
hugs,
Heather
But, now as we are -- sadly -- winding down and summer and heading in to Fall, I am getting close to where I picked up writing again. I picked up this gem from the end of September, which is mostly all reflective and gave us the mantra "today is just today." But at the end, I write about a gym visit, and I stated that I did an under 16 minute mile. Well, yesterday I did 3.27 miles on the old dreadmill and my pace was 14:14 minutes/mile. AND that was mostly running! This comparison to how far I've come and the fact that I ran almost the whole thing... It all gave me the confidence to FINALLY sign up for another 5k!
Oh my God!
It's for Susan G. Komen for the Cure and it's on October 13. As soon as I figure out how, I'll try to set up a way if you'd like to donate on behalf of my fundraising. Here's the link to the Susan G. Komen Tidewater homepage until I can figure something else out.
Holy crap, this means I will really need to get over my anxiousness about running outside. I want to try to run the whole thing and my goal is to do it in 40 minutes or less. I think this is a VERY reasonable, attainable goal given where I am right now and the fact that I have 2 months (almost) to train.
Excited, nervous, scared... But, hey -- at least I've got something new to write about! :)
hugs,
Heather
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
What are you looking at?
Are you familiar with body checking? As our helpful urban dictionary will let you know, it's when someone looks you up and down without even looking at your face.
Well, as you know, I was off work for a week and apparently when I got back it became noticeable that I was losing weight. I keep getting body checked whenever I walk through the office. It's weirdly flattering and just weird too. Several have commented that I'm losing and I don't know how to react. I'm trying to get better at just "thanks" but that feels weird.
I can't explain it, but I'm obviously going to try or I wouldn't have started this post... The gist of it is that it is a weird thing when people start noticing that you are losing weight. On the one hand, I'm losing weight so I can get in shape, be healthy and look better -- not necessarily in that order when my vanity is being honest. But, this comes with its own set of complications. For one, this implies that there was something "wrong" with the way I looked before. Thinking this way leads to real problems when I'm not being 100% successful with my weight loss, as you can imagine. And further, when people make comments like "you're looking a lot smaller, Heather"-- I am honestly not sure what exactly the correct response to that is. Again, I guess it's supposed to be "thanks" but I'm not really that kind of girl. I think one of the last times I said something like, yeah thanks to Spanx! And then there's the typical "woman on a diet in America" response which is "thanks but I got a ways to go" or something like that. Like, I can't actually acknowledge the work I have done so far, because surely you can see that there is at least 40 more pounds of fat on my ass that need to go, right? And if I -- God forbid -- accept your compliment, then maybe you won't know that I know that and... Well, you see how this downward spiral goes, right?
Well, as you know, I was off work for a week and apparently when I got back it became noticeable that I was losing weight. I keep getting body checked whenever I walk through the office. It's weirdly flattering and just weird too. Several have commented that I'm losing and I don't know how to react. I'm trying to get better at just "thanks" but that feels weird.
I can't explain it, but I'm obviously going to try or I wouldn't have started this post... The gist of it is that it is a weird thing when people start noticing that you are losing weight. On the one hand, I'm losing weight so I can get in shape, be healthy and look better -- not necessarily in that order when my vanity is being honest. But, this comes with its own set of complications. For one, this implies that there was something "wrong" with the way I looked before. Thinking this way leads to real problems when I'm not being 100% successful with my weight loss, as you can imagine. And further, when people make comments like "you're looking a lot smaller, Heather"-- I am honestly not sure what exactly the correct response to that is. Again, I guess it's supposed to be "thanks" but I'm not really that kind of girl. I think one of the last times I said something like, yeah thanks to Spanx! And then there's the typical "woman on a diet in America" response which is "thanks but I got a ways to go" or something like that. Like, I can't actually acknowledge the work I have done so far, because surely you can see that there is at least 40 more pounds of fat on my ass that need to go, right? And if I -- God forbid -- accept your compliment, then maybe you won't know that I know that and... Well, you see how this downward spiral goes, right?
And then here's the other hand... Frequently, when people do comment on my weight loss or make observations about my eating habits, this then turns into their own weight loss journey. Like I'm out to lunch with a friend and being all picky with my order and when she doesn't order something as "points friendly" (because she's not a weight watcher). But then it's a "thing." She's telling me about her plans for diet and exercise in the future. It's strange, which I all but said -- but on the other hand (how many hands are we up to??), I KNOW this feeling. When you're overweight and you're with someone who is actively trying to lose weight it makes you take a hard look at yourself. Well, it made ME feel that way -- in fact, it always made me feel a little judged. In retrospect, this is a bit crazy but this is me we're talking about. I mean, I'm just trying to eat my triple bacon cheeseburger here, and I can't hear you over the salad you're pretending to enjoy. Show off! But, that's the thing -- when you are the person eating the salad while the other person is eating their burger, it's not a judgment thing. For me, it vacillates between being a jealous thing or not being a thing at all. Am I delighted to be eating my salad while you're eating half a cow? Probably not. I'm not at that phase of the journey, and I probably never will be. I want what you're having and trust me -- I'm not judging you for having it. And that's just the thing -- just because I'm doing my thing, you don't have to do my thing. You don't have to think that I think you should do my thing. It's MY thing.
That doesn't mean that I don't think that you'll be happier if you lost a little weight and exercised a little more... I DO think that, but that doesn't mean that I care or am judging you for not doing those things now. I just want you to be happier. So, if you see what I'm doing and it makes you want to lose a little weight or exercise a little more, why not go for it?
That's how it started for me. Being inspired by other people and their progress. Being ready to make that change in my own life.
And when you want to get started? You CAN talk to me about it -- I'm not going to lie, I really do love talking about the journey and the trials and exercise and Weight Watchers (oh, how I LOVE to talk about that) and all of it.
Just don't body check me while you're doing it... ;)
hugs,
Heather
Sunday, August 12, 2012
The End of Staycation Rambling
When we last left our heroine, she had done 30 minutes on the elliptical on Tuesday morning and rounded out the evening in bad-ass activity-ness by doing a 50 minute cardio kickboxing class. And that was at the relative beginning of staycation...
What did the rest of the week hold? What indeed!
As far as activity: Wednesday I got a run in. 30 minutes on the dreadmill and hit 2.21 miles. Thursday there was minimal activity but LOTS of errand running -- why can't you get activity points for getting in and out of your car 1000 times? Friday was spent at the beach and I counted a bit of activity points for the running back and forth to the water and just dancing around and loving life. I think next summer instead of getting in shape so I can go to the beach, my plan is to work on getting in shape AT the beach. Lots of ways to get activity and it's out in the sun so that's even better! Yesterday I got another run in on the dreadmill, and hit 2.20 miles. I wasn't rocking it, to be sure, but I had so much pent up energy and what I lacked in the running part I made up in the inclines. (My new thing is that when I don't want to run anymore, I jack the incline way up during the "rest" - so even if I'm going slow, I'm still getting a work out.)
As far as being on plan: Well, it's been up and down. I have been trying to track as much as possible. But I've also been on staycation, so there's been a bit of partying going on, because you know -- I'm still me. :) My BFF and I fulfilled a lifelong dream of singing karaoke in Suffolk on Wednesday night and helped roll up the streets there. Twice. Crazy night and led to day of poor decisions fueled by exhaustion. It started with an order malfunction at Starbucks and didn't improve much from there. Scott and I went down to the Outer Banks on Thursday night. While I didn't do well in the abstaining from drinking department, I did do very well in the snacking department -- ate grapes and cherries the whole night! Friday we spent at the beach as long as the dust storms would allow -- it was a shorter trip than we would have liked. But, it always is! All in all, Friday wasn't great for being on plan, but Saturday it went totally downhill. At least I got that run in.
And today? The end of staycation? Minimal activity, ate a large amount of potato chips which I DID track, but all of the wine I have had since dinner? Not so much...
The problem is that I'm currently in this really dangerous point of my weight loss journey. I feel GREAT! I am so happy with how my body is looking and the things that I can do (more on this) and just feeling crammed full of endorphin. I actually want to go work out. Can you imagine? And part of this is because of what I just was saying about things that I can do.
Like squatting. Normal people probably don't think about squatting. It's not a big deal to them. But I've never been able to squat for any length of time and certainly couldn't do it without falling or holding on to someone. But lately, I've been able to get into a squatting position and stay there for a period of time. Without feeling like I'm going to die.
Anyways, it's a dangerous time. I've blogged about this before. When I feel this good, I feel indomitable. And that makes me make poor decisions (more wine, please!) and also makes me think I look good in clothing I have no business wearing. Shopping gets risky and iPhone self-portraits start taking over all my data usage. I feel ridiculously sassy and really have to watch myself.
I need a sitter!
Hugs,
Heather
What did the rest of the week hold? What indeed!
As far as activity: Wednesday I got a run in. 30 minutes on the dreadmill and hit 2.21 miles. Thursday there was minimal activity but LOTS of errand running -- why can't you get activity points for getting in and out of your car 1000 times? Friday was spent at the beach and I counted a bit of activity points for the running back and forth to the water and just dancing around and loving life. I think next summer instead of getting in shape so I can go to the beach, my plan is to work on getting in shape AT the beach. Lots of ways to get activity and it's out in the sun so that's even better! Yesterday I got another run in on the dreadmill, and hit 2.20 miles. I wasn't rocking it, to be sure, but I had so much pent up energy and what I lacked in the running part I made up in the inclines. (My new thing is that when I don't want to run anymore, I jack the incline way up during the "rest" - so even if I'm going slow, I'm still getting a work out.)
As far as being on plan: Well, it's been up and down. I have been trying to track as much as possible. But I've also been on staycation, so there's been a bit of partying going on, because you know -- I'm still me. :) My BFF and I fulfilled a lifelong dream of singing karaoke in Suffolk on Wednesday night and helped roll up the streets there. Twice. Crazy night and led to day of poor decisions fueled by exhaustion. It started with an order malfunction at Starbucks and didn't improve much from there. Scott and I went down to the Outer Banks on Thursday night. While I didn't do well in the abstaining from drinking department, I did do very well in the snacking department -- ate grapes and cherries the whole night! Friday we spent at the beach as long as the dust storms would allow -- it was a shorter trip than we would have liked. But, it always is! All in all, Friday wasn't great for being on plan, but Saturday it went totally downhill. At least I got that run in.
And today? The end of staycation? Minimal activity, ate a large amount of potato chips which I DID track, but all of the wine I have had since dinner? Not so much...
The problem is that I'm currently in this really dangerous point of my weight loss journey. I feel GREAT! I am so happy with how my body is looking and the things that I can do (more on this) and just feeling crammed full of endorphin. I actually want to go work out. Can you imagine? And part of this is because of what I just was saying about things that I can do.
Like squatting. Normal people probably don't think about squatting. It's not a big deal to them. But I've never been able to squat for any length of time and certainly couldn't do it without falling or holding on to someone. But lately, I've been able to get into a squatting position and stay there for a period of time. Without feeling like I'm going to die.
Anyways, it's a dangerous time. I've blogged about this before. When I feel this good, I feel indomitable. And that makes me make poor decisions (more wine, please!) and also makes me think I look good in clothing I have no business wearing. Shopping gets risky and iPhone self-portraits start taking over all my data usage. I feel ridiculously sassy and really have to watch myself.
I need a sitter!
Hugs,
Heather
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
APA
Well I finally blew a day. I'm on staycation this week and yesterday was a total sloth day. I'm not going to lie, there is something appealingly decadent about still being in one's nightgown at 4pm. But today I got it done first thing - 30 minutes o the elliptical and I'm finishing the night with my 50 minute cardio kickboxing tonight.
I included the avg heart-rate shot because I held the arm thingies the whole time so I think it's pretty accurate.
I included the avg heart-rate shot because I held the arm thingies the whole time so I think it's pretty accurate.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Heather In Onederland
As you already know if you're a reader, I've been in the onederland for a while now. I never had an official onederland post, but I've subsequently had the epiphany that this might be more indicative of a minor speed bump that I didn't even realize I was experiencing...
As I recently told you, my goal is to average a weight loss of about 5 lbs per month. This puts me on track to be at my goal weight by my 40th birthday in May. What I didn't tell you is that I haven't really been on that track thus far. I just got to 195 on the WW books this week and it took me almost 2 months to get there. That's because when I got to the onederland, I think there was a part of my brain that freaked out. And was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I sabotaged myself a little here and a little there, but mostly I just wasn't taking it seriously. Or maybe I was just too afraid to truly embrace that it was really starting finally.
Or maybe I needed to ease into the next phase.
Whatever "it" was, I'm over it. I'm ready to go forward with this and get where I want to be. I am in the onederland now. I'm here. I'm staying here. I LIKE it here!
As for my APA today -- I did 30 minutes on my stepper and got a 20 minute walk in with the hubby and the d-o-g. So, I'm staying on track with my activity. And that is how I'm going to get to my goal!
:::gulp::: And then what?!
Heather
Saturday, August 4, 2012
APA
30 minutes battling the wet lawn. You'd think that would be worth more than 3 AP even with a power mower. :)
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