So, the daily posting slacked off a bit because I'm feeling guilty. I want to quit. I really want to quit. BFF Tina wants to quit. She thinks we are insane for continuing and really wants to know why this is the one time that I'm trying to NOT quit?! Why is this the time that I'm going to finish something I started??
And not in a defeating way, she says this, because she is BFF. But just, this is torture...
Freaky Friday at the compound this week found me finishing last at one of our relays again. And I meant LAST. I didn't even get to the second half of the relay because it was such a struggle for me to finish the first half. And the second half was the "cool" part - flipping the famous huge tire and dragging it across the parking lot. The first half was a burpee into a broad jump. Neither of which I'm very good at. So, it took me the whole time to make the cycle while all the other teams finished. Talk about humiliating! And then writing about it here on the WWW?
But I have promised myself that in order to try to be more consistent with blogging to write about both the good and the bad. To tell you about all of the ordeals of Heather's fat. It's a difficult journey to be a healthy person.
But here's the thing... Last night I was completely beat up. I literally felt like someone had been taking a baseball bat to my body and actually bludgeoning me. From the looks of my legs, it even seemed a bit true. But yet, in a really freaky way, it felt good. It was one of the first times that I even felt a tiny bit of the mental connection with the endorphin rush that everyone talks about. I understood that doing that much work was creating a physical change that made me want to try harder and get better.
Maybe I never will. Maybe that feeling will erode again. But at least I recognized that it was in there.
And that's why I didn't quit Friday.
Enjoy your weekend!
Heather
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