Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Thursday, October 18, 2012
True Confessions - Fat Church, Food, and Alcoholism.... :)
You know how I frequently refer to Weight Watchers as Fat Church? Well, I looked through my archives and it looks like I never told you why. I hope that my more religious readers do not get offended. I mean NO harm!
I'm sure for the most part it's obvious. There's the prayer before you get on the scale. The weekly sermon done by your leader. (Even the occasional guest pastor.) The collection is the weekly items they are pitching. The Bible is your Getting Started Guide and you refer to your various Commandments -- the Healthy Guidelines. I won't go super sacrilegious and try to figure out who our God is, so I'll wrap up with saying further that WW is actually most reminds of Catholic Church because there is confession!
And this is what inspired this post tonight. Food confessions! What woman in America does nohet do this?! It is the most satisfying thing ever! There is nothing more that I like than to share with my closest friends that food confessions. When I tell them about something horribly decadent that I did and I expose it to another person, it just makes me feel better. Usually they will share something they did. Or they'll just say, "I was so HORRIBLE!" Like having a strawberry daiquiri is the highway to hell or something. Isn't it great? Don't you feel so much better when you hear that other people are just as crazy as you?! Then what inspires me to get active and work harder and do better is these same women that I have shared these stories with will then tell me about all of the awesome active things they did to counterbalance that food weakness. It's really, truly inspiring. They will always minimize what they do, but trust me -- it's more than I do before 5 in the morning!
This is what I like the best about good Fat Churches. They're not all built the same, you know. It's all about the pastor and the congregation. I've recently been dabbling with trying to find another meeting to go to. I usually go Wednesday nights. But just going to one other meeting and I knew that I just really like the Wednesday night group a lot. Our leader is really awesome. She really has been there, she really does understand and she really is an example of what you can accomplish if you just believe (faith!). She makes sure that we discuss the weekly topic but in a way that really incorporates group participation. But best of all, she encourages confession -- even if she does tease us a little about it. We confess some of the more audacious things we have done and our perceived failures and she gives us encouragement to do better, be better and we feel recommitted. The group has clearly known each and been losing together for a while. And I confess to feeling like an outsider, even though I've been going for more than 16 weeks. Granted not religiously to this meeting, but enough so that I keep waiting to pass the threshold and feel like an "insider."
So, in honor of this tradition here is my food confession today... We had a potluck at work today to honor our friend Wanda who is moving on within the company to even more exciting ventures. (Good luck Wanda!) There was so much good food and I indulged in some tastes of everything. Amazing pork barbecue, baked chicken, pumpkin soup, pumpkin muffins -- even I baked! (Muffins that were 2 PPV's each, thank you very much!) I calculated my points for everything (ugh, hard confession -- 13) and my BFAW and I walked for a long time after to work off just a tiny portion of our indulgence -- and our work frustration! (Not truly frustration, after all -- I did just get promoted!) Then tonight, Scott wanted pizza for dinner and I didn't have the creativity to disagree, so I went along and had two slices. He DID get me spinach and tomato, like I like but that was 9 PPV's. And then after dinner, I'm trying to get better about drinking moderately during the week... (Hard confession -- I have had wine Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Which means I've only been on the wagon Monday and tonight, but baby steps right?) Where was I? Oh, tonight after dinner. I got the munchies, so I had an apple with 2 tablespoons of sunbutter. (How much do I LOVE sunbutter?) That was 5 more points. Needless to say it was a robust day. I did spend it trying to make good decisions, but I'd be lying if it feels that way now. My stomach feels thick and I just feel so bloated.
It's going to be ANOTHER indulgent weekend. I'm going to be looking for ways to fit activity in between and try to minimize the damage.
Wish me luck, but no matter what I'll confess it all here!
hugs,
Heather
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
The Highs and the Lows
Lately things have been on a bit of a high note in Fat World. I've been progressing and seeing results. And I'm in the middle of a week that has a many landmines of challenges ahead and it's very risky. Because this is bound to make itself known on the scale. And since I'm so new into the onederland, I am knowingly putting this status in jeopardy. It's a slippery, slippery slope my friends. Because I'm here where things have been going good. And I am putting the sabotage knife to my own throat...
Or am I?
Maybe it's the high note, maybe it's the sangria from dinner (yup, counted that thankyouverymuch) or maybe it's wisdom but this feels different than sabotage. Here are some differences.
As noted, I tracked the sangria.
I planned for most of what I was going to eat. I mean, planned ahead -- I knew where I was going to be going so I planned what to eat and pre-tracked it. I've even got food planned for Thursday, indulgent evening number two.
I increased my exercise (by again, you know, doing some).
I went for a walk when I came home from indulgent dinner number one this week.
I skipped cake that was being offered as a celebration this week.
Here's a low note: Unfortunately I f*ed up the high cake-skipping note by then having one of the dessert sampler shooter things at Carrabba's tonight. I can't believe I did this because when I looked it up it was 12 points. 12 freaking points! Ugh! And this thing was freaking tiny. SO pissed. But from this I regain the humility that is so desperately needed at these high moments. Feeling self-confident for me can quickly lead to arrogance which leads to feelings of being indomitable which quickly leads back to where I was before.
I'm not going back there.
I have over-indulged. I may gain weight this week because of it. These are the facts of life. And how is that going to be? 1 or 2 pounds? Maybe.
Is that worth a total backslide and feeling like I'm a loser? Not really. It's not like I'm going to put back the 30 pounds (I know, right? Thirty since this blog started - I love that!) I lost back on. I'm just going to have to work harder to over-correct.
I'm writing this because I'm on a high note. I'm not going to stay on a high note. There's going to be weeks when I'm going to gain .4 and that will start a shame spiral that will take me to the bottom of a Dorito's bag. I know it and if you read my blog, you know it too. That's life. But it's not my whole life. It's just a low. And the highs will come!
Or am I?
Maybe it's the high note, maybe it's the sangria from dinner (yup, counted that thankyouverymuch) or maybe it's wisdom but this feels different than sabotage. Here are some differences.
As noted, I tracked the sangria.
I planned for most of what I was going to eat. I mean, planned ahead -- I knew where I was going to be going so I planned what to eat and pre-tracked it. I've even got food planned for Thursday, indulgent evening number two.
I increased my exercise (by again, you know, doing some).
I went for a walk when I came home from indulgent dinner number one this week.
I skipped cake that was being offered as a celebration this week.
Here's a low note: Unfortunately I f*ed up the high cake-skipping note by then having one of the dessert sampler shooter things at Carrabba's tonight. I can't believe I did this because when I looked it up it was 12 points. 12 freaking points! Ugh! And this thing was freaking tiny. SO pissed. But from this I regain the humility that is so desperately needed at these high moments. Feeling self-confident for me can quickly lead to arrogance which leads to feelings of being indomitable which quickly leads back to where I was before.
I'm not going back there.
I have over-indulged. I may gain weight this week because of it. These are the facts of life. And how is that going to be? 1 or 2 pounds? Maybe.
Is that worth a total backslide and feeling like I'm a loser? Not really. It's not like I'm going to put back the 30 pounds (I know, right? Thirty since this blog started - I love that!) I lost back on. I'm just going to have to work harder to over-correct.
I'm writing this because I'm on a high note. I'm not going to stay on a high note. There's going to be weeks when I'm going to gain .4 and that will start a shame spiral that will take me to the bottom of a Dorito's bag. I know it and if you read my blog, you know it too. That's life. But it's not my whole life. It's just a low. And the highs will come!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Sorry about the delay... Hope you managed to survive. :)
The reason for no immediate post is we had to stay late and review our food journal. I believe that the pile my journal was in was compared to "cockroaches." Whatever. Am I strictly paleo? Nope. But I am eating way fewer carbs and processed food than I ever did before. I totally threw down on Saturday, because it was Sertoma and that's our annual favorite drunk fest. I really did eat like a cockroach, in fact I partied so much I may have eaten a cockroach -- who knows? Further, who cares? Good times!
I know that I could not be doing this much of the attempt at diet if it were not for BFF Tina. As I've mentioned, she's staying with us temporarily and has been in charge of food prep. It's been a huge help and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to let her move out. :( Having said that, there are lots of the diet that I like. I do like the challenge of figuring out what to eat. I like that I'm eating lots of fresh food and eating much less salt. It's just the time that it takes to fix this food all the time is crazy. I'm not sure how successful I would be sticking to it long term. Especially since my husband, God love him, does not really like a lot of vegetables and would definitely not be excited about eating some of the same things repeatedly.
The workout on Monday was a fair amount of running. We ran around the building twice. Right after that we had to all get into a simultaneous squat and we weren't started until everyone was in sync. Needless to say that was a bit of a time lag since people kept popping back up. (Ahem, sorry guys...) Then there was some running in and out of a ladder, running up and down and tapping a thing on the ground, jumping over hurdles and everyone's favorite the bear crawl. Inside activities including learning to dead lift, a few rounds of wall ball and push-ups.
One of my co-workers said something along the lines that I have a glowy way of talking about the boot camp. And, I guess I do. I am not good at the workouts. I am not fast, efficient, strong, anything. But every night that I give them the hour and quarter is an hour and quarter that I'm not just sitting around not changing my life. I like that. Sometimes when I'm praying for death in the workouts, I try to remind myself of this. Not as easy to remember then. But afterwards, I just feel good that I accomplished it.
BFF and I have talked about what we're going to do next. How we're going to keep up the momentum? I'm not sure. I really like the taking classes, but I do hate being out 3 nights a week and away from my husband. (Although perhaps he likes the peace? Who knows??) It's just that being out til after 9 and then having to come home and put together a day's worth of food for the next day and then getting up at dawn and starting again gets to be a bit taxing. As I frequently say, I have no idea how people with children do all the things they do. I can barely keep my own shit together.
Anyways, the hour grows close to the work out and I must go get sucked into my lycra and sports bra. I will probably do a belated bootcamp post for tonight so in the meantime, try a paleo blog! :)
hugs,
Heather
The reason for no immediate post is we had to stay late and review our food journal. I believe that the pile my journal was in was compared to "cockroaches." Whatever. Am I strictly paleo? Nope. But I am eating way fewer carbs and processed food than I ever did before. I totally threw down on Saturday, because it was Sertoma and that's our annual favorite drunk fest. I really did eat like a cockroach, in fact I partied so much I may have eaten a cockroach -- who knows? Further, who cares? Good times!
I know that I could not be doing this much of the attempt at diet if it were not for BFF Tina. As I've mentioned, she's staying with us temporarily and has been in charge of food prep. It's been a huge help and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to let her move out. :( Having said that, there are lots of the diet that I like. I do like the challenge of figuring out what to eat. I like that I'm eating lots of fresh food and eating much less salt. It's just the time that it takes to fix this food all the time is crazy. I'm not sure how successful I would be sticking to it long term. Especially since my husband, God love him, does not really like a lot of vegetables and would definitely not be excited about eating some of the same things repeatedly.
The workout on Monday was a fair amount of running. We ran around the building twice. Right after that we had to all get into a simultaneous squat and we weren't started until everyone was in sync. Needless to say that was a bit of a time lag since people kept popping back up. (Ahem, sorry guys...) Then there was some running in and out of a ladder, running up and down and tapping a thing on the ground, jumping over hurdles and everyone's favorite the bear crawl. Inside activities including learning to dead lift, a few rounds of wall ball and push-ups.
One of my co-workers said something along the lines that I have a glowy way of talking about the boot camp. And, I guess I do. I am not good at the workouts. I am not fast, efficient, strong, anything. But every night that I give them the hour and quarter is an hour and quarter that I'm not just sitting around not changing my life. I like that. Sometimes when I'm praying for death in the workouts, I try to remind myself of this. Not as easy to remember then. But afterwards, I just feel good that I accomplished it.
BFF and I have talked about what we're going to do next. How we're going to keep up the momentum? I'm not sure. I really like the taking classes, but I do hate being out 3 nights a week and away from my husband. (Although perhaps he likes the peace? Who knows??) It's just that being out til after 9 and then having to come home and put together a day's worth of food for the next day and then getting up at dawn and starting again gets to be a bit taxing. As I frequently say, I have no idea how people with children do all the things they do. I can barely keep my own shit together.
Anyways, the hour grows close to the work out and I must go get sucked into my lycra and sports bra. I will probably do a belated bootcamp post for tonight so in the meantime, try a paleo blog! :)
hugs,
Heather
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Starting to tap into inner bad ass
When we last left our heroine (me), she was tapping in to her I don't give a fuck side. After "Freaky Friday" at the compound, that side took over with a vengeance.
Y'all, we flipped 200lb tires. By ourselves. It was crazy. I only was able to do it 5 times, but trust that was 5 more times than I thought I was going to be able to do it. We also then smashed the tire with a sledgehammer, and if you think that wasn't fun you got another think coming. GOOD times.
We started the night out with our usual fun run around the building. My team swears I'm keeping up, but I still don't really feel like I am. Then we played tug o' war and our team never lost! It was awesome! After that was when we learned the maneuver to flip the tire and the sledgehammer pounding thing. Then we worked as a team to flip the tire 200 times and pound the sledgehammer 250 times. I stayed on the sledgehammer the whole time because I don't think I could have done that many reps flipping the tire and then do the post-workout run around the building.
We turned in our food journals and they were very insistent that names would be named for not sticking to the food plan. I have an issue with that and not just because I wasn't always 100% with the food plan. This is a new thing for everyone, and we're all doing the best we can. Do we need to make everyone do burpees for every pat of butter we eat or glass of wine? That just seems a bit extreme.
As for the food, which I keep saying I'm going to talk about. It's been a challenge because you always have to plan. You can't just wing it. There is a definite need to cook and prep. I can't just throw a frozen dinner in my lunch and be done with it for the day. Consequently, I am eating a lot of salads for lunch. I don't necessarily mind, but in order for it to be good there's a fair amount of prep that has to go into that too. If I were a smarter person, I'd spend today chopping and prepping for the week this afternoon... But that would require unwrapping from my cozy blankie and getting away from the tv on a rainy Sunday.
But the thing is that I can't believe how far I've come mentally since Tuesday, food whining aside. I think it was the tires or maybe that Friday was more fun or maybe the PMS finally broke -- all I know is that by Friday night I was feeling freaking sassy! Like, this is really hard, but I'm doing it. I can do this. And if I can do this, then I can do whatever I want!
That's probably a dangerous thought pattern, huh?
Happy Sunday friends!
Heather
Y'all, we flipped 200lb tires. By ourselves. It was crazy. I only was able to do it 5 times, but trust that was 5 more times than I thought I was going to be able to do it. We also then smashed the tire with a sledgehammer, and if you think that wasn't fun you got another think coming. GOOD times.
We started the night out with our usual fun run around the building. My team swears I'm keeping up, but I still don't really feel like I am. Then we played tug o' war and our team never lost! It was awesome! After that was when we learned the maneuver to flip the tire and the sledgehammer pounding thing. Then we worked as a team to flip the tire 200 times and pound the sledgehammer 250 times. I stayed on the sledgehammer the whole time because I don't think I could have done that many reps flipping the tire and then do the post-workout run around the building.
We turned in our food journals and they were very insistent that names would be named for not sticking to the food plan. I have an issue with that and not just because I wasn't always 100% with the food plan. This is a new thing for everyone, and we're all doing the best we can. Do we need to make everyone do burpees for every pat of butter we eat or glass of wine? That just seems a bit extreme.
As for the food, which I keep saying I'm going to talk about. It's been a challenge because you always have to plan. You can't just wing it. There is a definite need to cook and prep. I can't just throw a frozen dinner in my lunch and be done with it for the day. Consequently, I am eating a lot of salads for lunch. I don't necessarily mind, but in order for it to be good there's a fair amount of prep that has to go into that too. If I were a smarter person, I'd spend today chopping and prepping for the week this afternoon... But that would require unwrapping from my cozy blankie and getting away from the tv on a rainy Sunday.
But the thing is that I can't believe how far I've come mentally since Tuesday, food whining aside. I think it was the tires or maybe that Friday was more fun or maybe the PMS finally broke -- all I know is that by Friday night I was feeling freaking sassy! Like, this is really hard, but I'm doing it. I can do this. And if I can do this, then I can do whatever I want!
That's probably a dangerous thought pattern, huh?
Happy Sunday friends!
Heather
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Quick check-in
I head back to work tomorrow after a week of staycation. Being home from work definitely made it easier to stick to a meal plan of a sorts and helped me stay on track with working out. I'm hoping this momentum will carry into next week.
I'm feeling pretty good about my progress and my mindset right now. The Lees have declared the weekend nights to be a bit of a blow your diet time, but even then I tried to stay somewhat in line. (Other than the 97 drinks I had last night, I mean! :) ) I'm looking forward to the cardio, kind of. I'm looking forward to being able to tolerate it, really. Well, by tolerate what I mean is able to do it and not feel like I'm going to die. Or puke. Or something. And I think I'm slowly getting in that direction, which is so great. The workout yesterday was tough, but I don't feel awful today and really just generally feeling proud of myself for making it through.
This weeks challenges will be getting up in time to workout before work and staying on track with eating. We made this really funny breakfast casserole that didn't turn out quite like the picture in the recipe. I can't wait to try it -- I'll have to post a photo.
Short and sweet -- hugs,
me
I'm feeling pretty good about my progress and my mindset right now. The Lees have declared the weekend nights to be a bit of a blow your diet time, but even then I tried to stay somewhat in line. (Other than the 97 drinks I had last night, I mean! :) ) I'm looking forward to the cardio, kind of. I'm looking forward to being able to tolerate it, really. Well, by tolerate what I mean is able to do it and not feel like I'm going to die. Or puke. Or something. And I think I'm slowly getting in that direction, which is so great. The workout yesterday was tough, but I don't feel awful today and really just generally feeling proud of myself for making it through.
This weeks challenges will be getting up in time to workout before work and staying on track with eating. We made this really funny breakfast casserole that didn't turn out quite like the picture in the recipe. I can't wait to try it -- I'll have to post a photo.
Short and sweet -- hugs,
me
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