Your blog queen has returned!

     Annnnnd I'm back.  Yeah,  yeah, yeah -- I know that I have actually been back for a while, but whatever.  I returned home December 15.  It was a 7 week deployment and was much harder than my trip through what I called the Tour of the 'villes in 2011.  I never really felt rested, though a lot of that was self-induced.  I split my time between being at a "CAT site" (a dedicated place for people to come and visit) and doing field work (going to people's houses -- or what was left of them -- and helping them inventory the household goods they lost in the flooding).  Being on site had highs and lows of being busy -- we'd go through periods of tons of traffic and not have a minute to breathe followed by hours of waiting for someone to come.  It was not easy to make good food decisions, because you were making those decisions with a group of people.  Plus, meeting people who were going through this horrible tragedy was emotionally draining -- I gradually started being friends with carbs again.  And wine and I, we just got reacquainted.  Many, many, many long talks into the wee hours with my friend Wine were had...  In the beginning, I was making good decisions with my diet*, though I did fall completely off tracking.  But, I was paying attention to what I was eating, watching my portions, and just trying to make good choices.  This did not last long.   It was slow at first, but moving in to the field really sealed my fate in that regard.  It's a 12 hour day and there was a LOT of driving between different appointments.  You never knew how long each appointment was going to be, how bad the traffic was going to be getting there, if there was going to be open places to eat where you going...  (Oh, I was based in Long Island and I was mostly around the southern part.)  I ate on the road a lot and went back to my staples from the 'villes -- almonds and beef jerky and lots and lots of caffeine.  I think I drank even more caffeine this time then I did last year because being so caffeinated really helped keep my appetite at bay.

If you have specific questions about the deployment itself, I am happy to answer.  Send me a comment here or message me on Facebook.  I sent out a series of emails while I was gone about some of my experiences, and I would be happy to share those.

So, now I'm back (from outer space...) and consciously decided that I was going to stay off the wagon and then join the cliche of getting back on track in the New Year.  I do so hate being a cliche, but they exist for a reason.  I have gained about 5-10 pounds since I left.  I know that if I really get committed, this part of it will be "easy" to take off since it is new weight.  But I know that getting committed is where I struggle.  It's probably where you struggle too, right?

What're we gonna do about it?

Here are some of MY plans...

As for me, on New Year's Day, no matter how hung over I am (and I will be, let's not kid ourselves here), I plan to rip off the band-aid and get a workout in.  If the weather cooperates, I plan to do the 5k I marked out here in my neighborhood (mostly just walking -- though in the one, lonely work-out I did while I was gone, I was able to run for most of it) and if not, then I'll be at my gym.  Along with all the newbies who are really, really, really going to do it this time!

I'll also be going back to Fat Church.  I am hoping that my beloved Wednesday meeting will still work, but any meeting this time of year is going to be crazy crowded with newbies.  I need to find a meeting that works with my schedule and has a leader that I like as much as my current one -- harder to find than you think.  In full honesty, the group that goes also plays a part.  I frequently sample meetings that filled with knitting grannies and this is just not the place for me.  I like the ones where the members really should be stopping at an AA meeting on their way home -- like me! (We don't want to quit drinking, we just want to learn to do it moderately.  Or to be moderate enough in everything else that we can still drink...  Or something.)  So, finding a NEW meeting, but going to meetings no matter what.  Getting back on track with Weight Watchers will be a key component in my "recovery."

My plans also include finding a new race to train for.  I'm thinking about utilizing the Couch to 5k Plan so that the next 5k I do, I can run the entire thing.  I'm considering joining the biggest loser challenge at my gym again -- that was a great inspiration to me the when I started this journey and I have no doubt will be again.  If that doesn't work, I will definitely be trolling the groupons for some type of boot camp (though NOT cross fit -- no nervous breakdowns while working out again!) so that I can incorporate strength training -- an area where I really don't feel confident.

I think that's enough for now.  I met a lot of inspiring people while I was on this tour.  One of them bought inexpensive exercise equipment, which he says he does on every deployment and walked the stairs.  Another ran daily while we were gone.  Another also wasn't really on track with workouts, but did make good food decisions on the regular and one of his first check-ins when he came back was at the gym with the tag line "yesterday we said tomorrow and we meant it".  I LOVE that -- that's how I want to approach 2013.  I said I was going to get to my goal weight by my 40th -- and I meant it!

Can't wait to share my journey with you!

hugs,

Heather

PS -- *The use of the word diet in this and every post is intended to mean food choices and not the stereotypical usage of the word diet (or die with a t).  Even when I am actively following the Weight Watchers plan, I do not consider myself to be on a diet.  That's not just something that I say to make people believe I drank the Kool-Aid.  Weight Watchers is just the most effective tool I have ever found to help me be responsible for what I eat and become more moderate.

Also, this is but a small sampling of photos from my trip but for some reason I'm getting locked up and unable to post more.

Another 5K?

I'm thinking about doing the Jingle Bell 5k Run/Walk.  It's on December 1.  BFF Tina was like, you just complained about how cold this race was in October and now you want to do one in December?  And since I need to talk her into doing it, so I don't have that awkward feeling I talked about in my last post, I need to get to work on the pressuring.

I just like having something to train for, it gives me the motivation I need to get off the couch.

What's the trick to running in the cold?  Is it the gear?  Layers?  I'm looking for some feedback.

I haven't signed up yet, but I have til November 17th to commit and get my swag.  I like the idea of doing this one because of the costumes but it's also the day of my company holiday party, so I'd be well set up to feel like I earned the party hardy.

That's the post-race update for now.  I thought I'd post a short one to keep up the posting momentum and encourage you to keep coming around to read.  :)

hugs,

Heather

APA

Had the mock interview to prep for a promotion I'm vying for today. Had some issues to work out, so I headed to the gym. Unfortunately all of the dreadmills were full, so I was forced to hang with my old friend the elliptical.
45 minutes
500 calorie
3.5 miles

Made that thing my beeyotch!

As usual, I get by with inspiration from my friends

The previous post was part of a series of text messages I had with my friend Anina... And that was in part inspired by my BFAW Stephanie... And there's also... Hmmm, let's just jump in shall we?

My boss says to me that I put myself down too much. Actually most people with ears say this. I know it's true. I try to exude confidence and security but it is a big struggle for me. I recently celebrated the milestone of officially hitting 40 lbs on the WW scale. As I shared this with a friend, she astutely asked if this milestone in some ways would make it harder for me? Well, yes. It does. Because I have about that same amount to go to get to goal. I am literally halfway there. It's hard not to get scared that I'm going to fall back into being me and just gain it all back.
Which lead to the text portion from last night. My BFAW and I have had lots of extra time to walk during the day since we had been blessed to be on a project that gave us a scosh more freedom. We probably got in 2 miles a day for at least two if not three days. Twice what we can normally do. Gave us a lot of time to catch up - including food confession. And that's when I decided - no matter how ugly it is, no matter what I do I am going to track every single thing I eat and drink from now on. Because at least that way I am being accountable. Even if I'm accounting for gaining, I know what I'd did. Here's the quote from me that didn't get uploaded "I did the right things even when I was doing the wrong things."
And being accountable for tracking is making me appreciate activity more. 40 minutes of stepping while watching The Avengers is better than nothing. Any activity is better than none.

I'm going to try working on the outside in. Get my outside close to that Scarlett Johansson aspiration and work on building the confidence to match that.

And I'll keep trying to keep you in the loop here!!

Hugs,

Heather