The previous post was part of a series of text messages I had with my friend Anina... And that was in part inspired by my BFAW Stephanie... And there's also... Hmmm, let's just jump in shall we?
My boss says to me that I put myself down too much. Actually most people with ears say this. I know it's true. I try to exude confidence and security but it is a big struggle for me. I recently celebrated the milestone of officially hitting 40 lbs on the WW scale. As I shared this with a friend, she astutely asked if this milestone in some ways would make it harder for me? Well, yes. It does. Because I have about that same amount to go to get to goal. I am literally halfway there. It's hard not to get scared that I'm going to fall back into being me and just gain it all back.
Which lead to the text portion from last night. My BFAW and I have had lots of extra time to walk during the day since we had been blessed to be on a project that gave us a scosh more freedom. We probably got in 2 miles a day for at least two if not three days. Twice what we can normally do. Gave us a lot of time to catch up - including food confession. And that's when I decided - no matter how ugly it is, no matter what I do I am going to track every single thing I eat and drink from now on. Because at least that way I am being accountable. Even if I'm accounting for gaining, I know what I'd did. Here's the quote from me that didn't get uploaded "I did the right things even when I was doing the wrong things."
And being accountable for tracking is making me appreciate activity more. 40 minutes of stepping while watching The Avengers is better than nothing. Any activity is better than none.
I'm going to try working on the outside in. Get my outside close to that Scarlett Johansson aspiration and work on building the confidence to match that.
And I'll keep trying to keep you in the loop here!!
Hugs,
Heather
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