Fat brain

Here's a side-effect of working out that doesn't get mentioned a lot, I bet.  Even though physically I am still quite overweight, I don't really feel like a "fat girl" a lot of the time.  I have to remind myself that there are people who still see me this way.

But, "fat girls" don't do 5ks.  Or get up at 5 a.m. to exercise.  Or even attempt to count calories. 

So, I can't be a fat girl, because I do all of those things. 

But, it's funny, because the mirror and my pants -- they still think I'm a fat girl.  They reflect this person back to me, and I think, "who is THIS broad?  She looks like a fat girl, that can't be me."

I frequently battle with myself because I'm doing this thing backwards from how I did it before.  I'm exercising more first and trying to get my diet in order second.  (The folks at the Body Challenge definitely think I should be doing both, but this is what is currently sustainable for the long haul.)  But, the biggest difference is that when I did the diet first last time, it took a loooooong time before I stopped thinking I was a fat girl.  This time, it's only taken a month-ish.  It's probably the 5k, but maybe it's also just the working out most every day.  All I know is that it's a good feeling.  Despite the ups and downs (and you know this is just one of the most recent examples), I know I don't have a fat brain anymore.  I cannot imagine going back to being a full-time couch potato again, and I frequently am trying to incrementally add more ways to exercise into my life and my plan.  I'm still somewhat stuck, but it's a goal that I know I will achieve. 

I'm going to sign off now, but let me again tell you...  I do NOT love exercise yet.  I still dread going to the gym, it is still so very hard to do the work-out.  Do not let all of this glowy posting fool you.  Exercise is hard, hard, hard when your body is overweight and it doesn't get super-easy just because you do it a lot.  But, it does become a habit AND it is noticeable when you do it, even when you don't see the number on the scale change.  This is the subtle nuance...  I don't feel better that I did it, I feel better because I got it done.  Does that make sense? 

It will when you start, I promise!  Fat back guarantee if I'm wrong!!  :)

hugs,

Heather