More on the brain

Here's how I know the brain is willing -- I have a kind of looking forward to exercising mental outlook. However, it's not the "I can't wait to get to the gym!" feeling that I thought would happen. It's more "I can't wait to get to the gym so I can get that OVER with!"

But, that's better than nothing, I know.

I had this talk with Scott the other day about how weird it working out at my work gym because unlike a "strange" gym, I know the people working out and feel weird being around them. I said it's like elevator time -- this uncomfortable span of time hanging out with people and not really talking to them. He said that it's more like bathroom time. Still uncomfortable, but you've got business to do while you're in there so you just do your business in close proximity to other people and move on with your life. So, sometimes you're going to do things that are embarrassing but you just have to do them and get over caring that these people are there.

That helps, oddly.

It was how I managed to do a full 30 minutes on the elliptical last night! Yay! (Again, I don't always want to be "I did this much cardio, this much blah blah" but sometimes I just can't help it!) I was very much impressed with myself. I even got some strength training in from patting myself on the back, ha ha.

I didn't think I was going to make it, but I was saved by music again. I'm still working on trying to get the right blend of music while at the gym and that's hard with the obscure blend of music I have here, you have NO idea. So, while I'm on the elliptical I'm almost at the 20 minute mark and I just want to quit. I'm rationalizing, I've done 20 minutes and therre is NOTHING wrong with that. And I do really believe that, because 20 minutes is better than 0 or even than 10. And then, I can't hear any music. I'm like, oh great my stupid ipod is on the fritz again. Then I realize it is the slow, torturous build-up to Troy by Sinead O'Connor.

I know, right? The phoenix from the flame, hello?!

Of course, if you don't know this song, this post will mean NOTHING to you, and I'm sorry. And really, if you first hear this song over the age of 16 I doubt it will mean anything to you. But because this was THE high school angst song and it has this burning slow build-up to this crescendo of love and hate and jealousy and just sheer I'm a fricking survivor and I'm going to do this thing if it is the last thing I EVER freaking do in my life...

Needless to say, it was EXACTLY what the fates ordered to push me to the end. After that was over, I didn't look at the last 5 minutes as being challenging at all. It was just something I had to do because I was still standing.

The Phoenix from the Flame is OUT!
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