Redefining the comfort zone

Redefine comfort zone

I talk about the comfort zone a lot (here is one example and within that example there is a link to another post).  I think the comfort zone gets a bad rap.  While in some cases, the bad rap is deserved but that's not what I'm going to be talking about today.

I'm in a phase right now where I am having a hard time pushing forward towards actually working on my weight loss again.  I work out intermittently.  I am getting worse and worse about tracking for Weight Watchers.  I'm scared to sign up for the 8k, even though I'd have some really cool people to run with from our Facebook weight loss challenge group.  (Well, maybe not with but at the same time or something.)  I'm setting up road blocks and excuses for myself all the time and just feeling worse and worse about myself.

And these feelings of self-hatred obviously have me very concerned...  Because in the past, when I have been in the phases of the comfort zone, I use this as an excuse to spiral ever further downwards.  That trend has already begun, with an episode of pantry eating just this past week.  (Pantry eating is when I stand in the pantry and just mindlessly eat anything I can get my hands on.  It's always a dirty feeling and that feeling gets compounded when the automatic pantry light turns off while I'm standing there.)  What's worse is that I went to Weight Watchers last week and only gained .6 pounds.  Frankly, this was a bad thing because I really needed to be punished for my bad behavior.  And this need to feel punished really led me to an epiphany...

Why do I need to be punished?  Aren't I punishing myself enough?  Maybe I'm not being quite as horrible as I think I am and maybe I need to ease up on myself just a bit.

So I am making a conscious decision now to purposely stay at or about my current weight.  For a little while.  I feel like if I am making a deliberate, mindful decision that I will have better control over the comfort zone.  After all, I cannot stay at my current weight by pantry eating and not working out at all.  Those things will lead to weight gain.  I cannot stay here by repeatedly making poor diet decisions.  I will have to work out, but I won't have to beat myself up if I'm not able to stick to a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday plan I made for myself.  In fact, I won't have to beat myself up at all as long as I'm staying at my current weight.

How long am I going to stay here?  Who knows?  You all know how flaky I am and how often I commit to doing different things that don't work out.  This is what's going on inside Heather's fat this week -- maybe I'll get sick of it and get recommitted.  Maybe I'll realize that this is not where I want to be and step up my game.  Maybe I'll decide that this is where I want to be and finally relax for a while.

Whichever way it goes, you know I'll tell you about it here.

(((HUGS)))

Heather