Okay, so I haven't been keeping you posted about life in the comfort zone. Really, are you surprised?
So, here's my big bag of whining and excuses. It's gonna be good!
Remember my support group from Facebook? Well, we got together in person a couple of times for activity dates. Both times, I injured myself in my booty by falling. One of the bruises was so incredibly epic that even though it was on my butt, I posted a picture on Facebook. (See also, this is how it feels to be shameless.)
The second time I fell on my butt was not long after that horrible thing finally healed and I decided in a move that can only be explained by a moment of insanity coupled with extreme over-confidence that our group should go roller skating. I have wanted to do this for years. I'm not kidding. Many dates were made and broken to go skating. I just wanted to know if I still knew how to do it and if it was like I remembered. Well, I sort of remembered how to do it, but I never really got comfortably in the groove.. Mostly because every time I got a good speed going and started feeling comfortable, I would lose my balance and fall. A grand total of 4 times. And let me be graphically, disgustingly clear about the pain of the last fall -- it was so hard and so painful that I literally thought that I had broken my actual asshole. Then I realized that wasn't possible, but this did not alleviate my pain. The pain which continued for quite a few weeks.
This happened while I was prepping for a part in The Vagina Monologues at ODU. I was really lucky to have had the opportunity to participate in this show. Normally it's only students and faculty who get to participate, but I got the opportunity through connection to faculty. Being in the show was on my bucket list, and to get to be in the show with the amazing group of women that I did really meant a lot to me. I had a part that was WAY out of my comfort zone and had a total blast doing it. The title of my monologue was The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy and I wore a pleather catsuit during the performance, if this gives you any indication of the extremity of what was involved.
You'd think that being on stage in a catsuit in front of dozens of people would have inspired me to break out of my comfort zone and start getting back into shape. But, I was dealing with back to back back injuries. Walking was painful, much less the bouncing that goes along with any type of cardio. And then during the second night of performance my voice broke and the next day I had a full on attack of what we locals call "the Tidewater crud."
Tidewater crud manifests itself differently in different people, but generally it's some type of congestion. Some have horrible clogged sinuses, constantly blowing their noses in search of relief. Some have painful, scratchy sore throats -- one friend even lost her voice for a period of time. Some have horrible chest congestion and racking coughs. That's been my primary symptom -- since February 9, which is almost 3 weeks. I went to the doctor and they called it a sinus infection. Yeah, all of Hampton Roads has simultaneously gotten a sinus infection -- something that is not supposed to be contagious. Sure. I've decided that they just haven't gotten Tidewater Crud as an official CDC recognized disease, so they have to call it sinus infection.
Weeks and weeks of not being able to work out even if/when I wanted to. It's so frustrating that I have developed workout envy. A co-worker had a 3 night a week date with a personal trainer who worked her out boot camp style. Several friends are participating in the Shamrock 8k, which I was planning to train for. Facebook friends are posting about workouts and training and I have actual envy that I cannot do these things. I try to do even little bits, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator but when this devolves into extreme coughing fits and much time trying to regain my breath, I have to acknowledge my limitation. I have been to the doctor (hence the bs diagnosis) and am on some medication, but it's not improved much thus far. It's so disappointing. I have never wanted to workout as much as I have as these issues progress. I even bought a groupon for a boot camp style workout that is scheduled to start March 12. I am actively looking forward to the punishing workouts.
It's hard because I know that the issues are actual reasons not to workout. It's not unreasonable not to workout when you are in pain or have trouble breathing, but it just feels like I'm making excuses. But here's how I know the difference -- I have been making excuses for my diet issues. I have justified my poor habits because I haven't felt good and, as usual, am seeking comfort. Isn't this how I started down this whole slippery path to begin with? My bum hurts, my chest is congested -- clearly the solution must lie on the bottom of a bag of crunchy junk food that I just have to eat my way to the bottom of. Ugh.
Anyway, there's no nice neat bow to tie this all up with, other than this -- despite all of this, I am staying pretty close to my starting weight. Hopefully I will be able to maintain that for a little while longer until I can find the track and get back on it again. Wish me luck!
(((HUGS)))
Heather
