Fake it til you make it

So, I don't really feel like blogging.  "Thanks for boring us, Heather -- we'll switch back to Fox News..."


Wait, I just meant that I don't have much to say.  For so long I was on a roll, I was called inspirational -- more than once, and not by my mother -- so, that's a thing.  And I feel like now, I need to be on a roll and being inspirational or something in order to write stuff.  But here's the thing (write this down).......

Life can really suck sometimes.  It's not always easy to be motivational.

::phew::

 I feel better.  Don't you?  No?  Shit, well there I go again not being inspiring...

Therein lies the rub.  This summer when I had the Summer of Lovehandles (tm) in progress -- I DID think about "you" -- whoever you are.  Random Blog Readers.  I thought, "Those RBR are going to KNOW I fell off the wagon and they are shaking their heads, silently judging me."  And, well, I did a fair amount of that on my own.  Along with a lot of promises I knew I wasn't going to keep.

That's the thing with being fat and being inside the fat....You make a lot of promises publicly and privately that you know you're not going to keep, but still keep making them.  Because ONE DAY, it really IS going to be the last day you make that promise.  Now, maybe it's because it's the day you get hit by a bus or have a nasty heart attack, but hopefully it's because you've come to terms with your own mortality and decided hey, I don't want my hobby to be losing weight -- I want it to be keeping it off.

Because this losing and putting it back on?  For all of the novelty at the beginning???  Boring for the long run.  Depressing to face going to yet another WW meeting as a "first timer" -- I mean, it's my what time around?  How many times am I going to literally put lipstick on this pig?? 

I wish I could be as committed as Bitchcakes -- her last time she knew was her last time because she was going to stay until she finished.  And the thing for me is that I preach WW to everyone I know who's thinking about it because if you do it, it freaking works!  And, like I said, it's real.  You can fall back on the basics and even when you're sliding know enough to prevent a landslide.

Anyways...  This is another stream of consciousness posting.  I DO know that my desire to blog correlates with my desire to do this thing and that's a positive change.  I've been to the gym 3 times in under a week, which is sad but HUGE for me in comparison.  I'm faced with bad decisions by the hour and am inching towards making better ones (again) all the time...

I'll try to be better about posting.  You try to be better about... what?  What are YOU going to do?

------Heather