Confessions and stuff

First confession, I don't like my blog quote. I rarely eat donuts, but they are so synonymous with fat prejudice that I included it. I'm a wino and I eat unconciously in general -- these are my problems. Oo, and accidental second and third confessions!

Also, I decided to stop kidding myself and I'm joining Weight Watchers. It's an at-work program, which is nice because a lot of my co-workers will now be around to share tips with. But, that also means that I have to talk about losing weight with my co-workers, which is not something I'm super stoked about. It is what it is.

So, we had the initial info meeting on Thursday, but we don't officially start until this coming Thursday. That's our official weigh in. But they brought the scale in case you were "curious." And I'd been occasionally getting on the scale in the gym, so I knew but there's nothing like seeing it on that digital WW scale to bring back all of the combination of regret and desire to overcome.

And so, I am going to overcome my first big fear about why I thought I was not ready to do this and I'm going to put my weight here. On the web. For everyone to see. Because it is this kind of public number shaming or something that needs to go along with this journey that is finally, hopefully going to keep me on the right path once and for fucking all!

The number was 230.8.

Which means that I officially gained back all of the weight that I lost before, to the penny. "Luckily", I didn't go over like so many people do but I did get right back to where I started from. Which is not a good feeling, but luckily I'm at a place now where it doesn't make me spiral into a downward depression of despair. It is what it is. As I said before, I have had many good times getting to this point and I don't undermine that. I like to party and I can't imagine that getting on a healthier lifestyle is ever really going to truly cure that. However, hopefully, I will no longer see that I made it to Wednesday is a reason to "party."

So, there it is. Big confession.

I will also try to start putting up pictures and whatnot because the blogs I like the most have that going for them.

Now, Scott and I are off to the gym for an "orientation." I'm a tad nervous because this is the first time we have worked out together and he's a no pain, no gain kind of exerciser. Me, I'm like right now, I'm just happy that I'm moving!! I'm not trying to set the world on fire. Once I can build up a tolerance to moving and getting my heart rate up, then we'll start pushing more.

I'm admitting to my weight on the WWW, but I'm NOT crazy!! :)