We have our annual health risk assessment this week. Does your company do these things? It's a 20 minute deal where they weigh, measure, poke and prod you. Every year, the assessment is always the same -- I am super healthy except for being so fat. It's almost like they're surprised that I'm so healthy when they share the numbers with me.
I'm just really excited because it's yet another opportunity to feel bad about how far off the wagon I've gone. Nothing's better than that, right? See, at one point I only needed to lose two pounds in order to get to a weight that would represent a 10% weight loss since last year. Two pounds. That is nothing. Except when it's everything. As the day approaches, I just feel more and more glum.
I mean, by now it's even more than 2 pounds, but that's only because of the sabotage over the 2 pounds. Look, I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but you're the one eating up this shit like it's some grand wisdom so what does that say about you? :)
I'm trying to deal with it. I'm looking ahead. The goal would have been nice to achieve but as I just wrote about, I just couldn't do it. I'm still trying to get my head in the game.
Here are some things that I'm taking as signs I'm heading in the right direction... Next week the boot camp starts up. I'm finally really turning the corner on the Tidewater crud and think I should have renewed lung capacity soon. There was very little coughing today and most of the weekend was good in that regard too. Still, I am scared to DEATH of starting this thing by myself and still am not entirely sure what I was thinking when I signed up. I have thought about emailing them dozens of times requesting to reschedule, under the guise of concern about my ability to exercise after being half-assed sick for so long... But I know deep down that this is a cop-out and I'm trying to make a come-back here people!
Next, I cooked something this weekend! Anyone that knows me knows that this a crazy concept, but I was hankering for both spaghetti squash and pad thai and found a recipe that allowed me to have both. OMG. It was so very good. (Here's the recipe. I know her blog is much prettier than mine, but please remember to come back okay?) In addition, I bought ingredients to recreate a sandwich that I had this weekend but in a healthier way. The sandwich was at Panera and was a panini that had turkey with artichoke-parmesan spread and apples. There were a lot of other ingredients, but I'm not trying to be Paula Deen y'all. I'm going to recreate it with a light Alouette spread, rotisserie chicken and Granny Smith apples. I can't wait to try it!
And final sign that I'm heading in the right direction -- I signed up for a Glo in the Dark fun run in part because it was "only" 2 miles. Besides, it's the night before Sertoma -- what better way to pre-game for an all-day drunk fest than a 2 mile jog followed by beer?!
Okay, so the signs aren't ALL pointing that I'm shaping up -- but seriously, I'm gonna stop going to Sertoma as soon as the only people going have their original, God-given faces. :)
(((HUGS)))
Heather
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