It IS fair

Remember when I was telling my friend that I don't look at gaining .2 as a gain, that it was more like maintaining?  Of course you do, it just happened!  I'm struggling to remember my own sage advice now because I had an increase of .4 this week. It's really hard not to look at it as a real gain.  Deep in my heart, I know that this is nothing to sweat and I'm still trending in the right direction.

Deep, deep, deep down I know this...  Up top, it's hard not to be a little hard on myself.  To re-examine all of my missteps.  The primary one being living it up like a rock star on Saturday night.  Thinking that I was impervious.  I knew that it was going to show up.  I was talking to my work buddies about that today.  There were cookies and one of my buddies was indulging.  We calculated that points and she declared that it was worth it.  I generally don't indulge on weigh-in day, feeling superstitious that it will show up instantly with every high point thing I eat.  I didn't say exactly this, but did say that I was weighing in and wanted to cut back as much as possible.  I said that I was not expecting a good weigh in anyways and wanted to try to cut my losses.  My buddy, being a good buddy, asked why I thought so?  I reminded her of my rock star/bullet proof status on Saturday night and I knew that was going to be bad news.  And she uttered my favorite quote of the day, "For one night?!  That's just not fair!"

No, friend.  It's not fair.  But that's the point, isn't it?  She said it almost like the scale was punishing me and making me pay a tax for one night of frivolity.  Like I was nearly innocent.  But that's the thing -- I wasn't.  And while I don't want to hold myself over the fire for having one night that resulted in a week where I don't lose, nor can I pretend that those things don't matter.  That it isn't "fair."

Because it IS fair.  I didn't track that night and I played it a bit loose the rest of the weekend.  And what I preach to these work buddies (who are also having their own go at WW) is that if you don't track it -- you're not doing it.  I get up on my glorified soap box (when it's not being used to bitch about various work issues) and point fingers and preach.  It's annoying.  I get mad at myself when I do it.  I did this the last time I was on WW seriously.  It's not inspiring, it's just annoying.  Because, really what I need to do is step off the box, turn my finger around to myself and get right with my own self.  I know that it works when I do it, and I know it because I did it and it worked.

I'm not even close to letting this crush my spirit.  It's .4 for pity's sake.  But don't get it twisted -- even these minor setbacks are what I need to grit my teeth and be more committed to going forward.